Let Me Tell You, Ladies

A man loves to be useful and to feel needed, admired, accepted as he is and appreciated. As his wife, we are his biggest fan and most vocal cheering section.

We encourage our husband, show him appreciation, leave love notes in his briefcase or lunchbox, get excited at his accomplishments and care about his day. We can ask him what he needs, and do all in our power to help.

Our husband is not our mule and a paycheck. His role in life is not to function as our servant. Even if we both work all day, and we share the chores and child care, he should choose the chores he feels comfortable doing.

When our husband has a day off, he needs some of that time for himself. Family time is important, but he needs some of that time to chill, to hang with his buds, to create in his shop, to surf the waves or the internet, or to play his gaming device.

He decompresses his stress this way and can pay more attention to the family during our time together. A date night is also important for us as a couple…a time to play, laugh, make memories, form a closer bond and do something fun.

If we make his favorite meals and have everything he needs for the next day in plain view and ready for him before we go to bed, his love for us will grow; and he will make more of an effort to care for our needs as well.

If he is withdrawn, irritable, angry, or exhibiting any negative emotions, we can give him some space and some time to work out his issues. We can ask if there is anything we can do to help, and then follow through with his requests.

When a disagreement occurs, we brainstorm and pray together rather than just caving in to our partner or fighting to get our own way. Once God shows us a scenario, which we both feel good about, we proceed with unity and joy in our heart.

Prayer:
Father God, Your Word warns us that all of the forces of hell, along with the temptations and disagreements of the world, unite to destroy our marriage. We often join them and make life more difficult for our partner.

Remind us that love never fails; so we can decide together that divorce is never an option, since divorce shreds our family and removes the support that our children need regardless of how old they are. Divorce makes Your Church vulnerable, unstable and defeated.

Revive us, O Lord, so that we can rejoice in You (Psalm 85:6). Satisfy us anew each new morning with your unfailing love, so we can sing for joy and rejoice all the days of our life (Psalm 90:14).

Thought for the Day:
There is nothing, which happens in a marriage that cannot be resolved, if both mates will prefer the other person, exhibit patience during a disagreement, join forces during a trial and spend time enjoying one another’s company.

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Divine Appointmets – A Missed Opportunity

Growing up as a shy melancholy, I did not change very much when I first came to Christ. I still hesitated to talk to people, for fear of rejection and ridicule. Yet, I wanted to tell others about God’s divine love.

An opportunity arose a few weeks later, when a school chum pulled into the gas station just outside the window of the office where I worked. I knew my boss would not like me to take time away, and I figured my friend was also very busy.

So I just ran outside for a moment, greeted him and told him I had some good news to tell him as soon as we could get together. He was married to my boyfriend’s sister, so I did not think much time would pass before we could chat.

I ran back to my desk, excited that this would be my first opportunity to share with someone about the love and mercy of Christ in my life. A smile adorned my face for the rest of the day.

That very night…my lifelong school friend…committed suicide.

When my boyfriend gave me the news, I was devastated for his wife and their families, but more distraught because the Gospel of Christ may have saved his life both physically and spiritually, if I had only taken the time to speak to him when God gave me the opportunity.

I felt such deep remorse for days. I cried out to the Lord for forgiveness of this sin of omission. At the funeral, I cried more for my failure than I did for his family. I felt bereft and condemned by Satan’s shame.

The next day at work, I stared out the window, watching the cars come and go at the gas station next door. I judged myself for my failure and felt such regret that his life ended too young, and that his eternal destiny was already set.

My failure haunted me for weeks, until I stopped rebuking myself long enough to listen to the Lord. The shame of my failure left, but in its place came a dogged determination never to miss another divine appointment to share the love and grace of the Lord.

Prayer:
Father God, Your mercy and grace to forgive our sins of commission and omission humbles us and increases our love for You. I know that You had a plan for my school friend, and he chose to end his life rather than to surrender His life to You (John 3:16-18).

Thank you for the many opportunities You continually give us to share the Good News of the Gospel of Christ with everyone You bring into our life. Help us never to hesitate from fear or human reasoning, but to step out of our flesh and into Your Spirit, and to open our mouth and allow You to fill it by Your Spirit (Psalm 81:10).

Thought for the Day:
Not everyone will accept the Gospel of Christ when we share it with them; but we take them to a crossroad in their life where they have to make a choice to accept or reject the Lord. – John 3:16-18

Dwelling Together with Understanding

As a Pastor’s wife, I have witnessed certain men who accuse their wife of over-reacting; when it is often the husband’s behavior and attitude, coupled with selective-hearing, which builds up the frustration in his wife’s heart.

If she is not taken seriously when she expresses her feelings and needs, these slights smolder in her soul, catch fire and flame out of control.

Then her husband is shocked, feels like a victim and declares that he has to live on egg shells around his wife, not being able to relax in his own home. He resents his wife’s emotional outbursts.

A man will even lie to prevent a confrontation, which of course, only makes his wife’s wounds deeper, her security shattered, and her reaction more violent.

A woman can bear mistreatment for just so long before she has to release steam; and if she does not feel respected and understood, then the pressure cooker of her soul will build up until she blows her lid.

Her husband will proclaim that they have a “bad” marriage, due to the emotional “abuse” he suffers from his wife. However, if he considers his life without her in it, he will know without a doubt that she is worth cherishing (Hebrews 10:24).

Rather than blaming his wife, he can solve the issues by cherishing her, including her in making decisions and dwelling with her with understanding. Taking her needs seriously will help her to feel safe and secure (1 Peter 3:7).

A couple with a happy marriage listens to one another, and one spouse never insist on his/her own way; but they talk out issues and decisions until both of them feel peace about what to do.

Prayer:
Father God, men and women are so different in their needs; yet, we tend to love one another as we want to be loved. This ends up leaving our mate unfulfilled and unsatisfied with our relationship ( http://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile ).

Remind us to make one another our priority in life, second only to our relationship with You (Romans 12:10, 15:7). You have a perfect order for marriage, and You call us to serve one another.

Thought for the Day:
A happy marriage is made up of a husband who prefers his wife and her needs, and a wife who lovingly submits to her husband, who lays down his life for her, just like Christ.
– Ephesians 5:22-25

Her Cherished Treasure

The wise woman makes her husband her priority second only to God. He will see her love for him in her eyes, in her tone of voice, in her caring touch and in the amount of time she wants to spend with him. He is her most cherished treasure and is highly esteemed in her priorities. She respects, prefers and values his presence in her life.

Men want to be appreciated, and to feel trusted, believed in and admired. When a husband feels disrespected, he feels humiliated and will often react in anger or withdraw within himself. Often, his own behavior causes these feelings, but a wife can still attempt to support him in his endeavors. We believe in him, even when he doesn’t believe in himself.

Men are more vulnerable than they will admit or than most women realize. They crave verbal affirmation and encouragement. This gives them security and confidence. Some men believe that if their wife will stand with them, then the whole world can stand against them and they will not care. Many men will seek genuine affirmation from another woman, if they do not receive it from their wife.

Men want to be romantic, but fear humiliation. A wife’s encouragement, even in his frailest attempts, will encourage a husband to do even more. A man needs to know that his wife wants and desires him. This helps him to feel loved and gives him the confidence to succeed in every area of life. Due to her appreciation, he will not feel trapped by the innate need to provide for his family.

Prayer:
Father God, You created marriage to give men a helpmate (Genesis 2:18-22). Enable women to focus on the positive character in our mate and to build him up and appreciate him at every opportunity. Remind us to be grateful to him for each romantic gesture and every moment that he wants to spend with us. Assist us in maintaining a positive attitude, even when our husband disappoints us.

Thought for the Day:
When a wife accepts the influence of her husband over the household, even an unbelieving husband will be impressed; and may be won over to the Gospel because of his wife’s respect. – 1 Peter 3:1

His Cherished Treasure

His Cherished Treasure

Husbands, did you know that if you do not treat your wife with consideration and respect as heirs with you of God’s merciful gift of eternal life, that your prayers may be hindered (1 Peter 3:7)? God made women, so He knows how emotional, unpredictable and irrational we can be sometimes. That is why He gave men this cautionary advice.

The wise husband makes his wife his priority second only to God. He provides her with love, acceptance and a secure home environment. If he does, then she will never doubt his love for her. She will see it in his eyes, in his tone of voice, in his caring touch and in the amount of time he wants to spend with her. She is his most cherished treasure and is highly valued in his esteem.

Every human being has a love language. We often love others the way we want to be loved. However, if your mate’s, child’s or grandchild’s love language is not the same as yours, then they will not be impressed by your expressions of affection toward them. Some people enjoy gifts and others prefer physical touch, quality time, acts of service and/or words of affirmation.

Take the time to discover the love languages of the people God gave you to love ( http://www.5lovelanguages.com/ ). Give your loved ones continual expressions of love and devotion throughout the day. Many couples have a date night, which is admirable and something to look forward to; however, do not limit your time together to once a week. Spend little increments of time together throughout the day.

Maybe a shared lunch, family time after a dinner eaten together, a gift for no reason at all, a compliment for a job well done, a 15 minute snuggle, a walk in the park, a repair of that leaky faucet, a note tucked away in an obvious nook, a bike ride to a favorite place, taking her car to get it serviced or spending a few hours together walking on the beach. The possibilities are actually limitless.

Prayer:
Father God, remind us that You created marriage (Genesis 2:22). We dishonor You when we allow Satan to destroy the love You place in our hearts for one another. In today’s easy divorce society, we are not expected to work through the hard times and communicate with one another about what we really need and how we really feel. Remind us to lay our life down for each other as Christ did for us.

Thought for the Day:
Nurture your romantic urges and express them often. This is not a stilted requirement, but a spontaneous expression of your love and devotion.

God Hates Divorce

God takes divorce and infidelity personally, especially if the other person is faithful to his or her vows. The Lord made it very clear that He will not accept the worship of a person who makes a vow to their husband or wife and then is unfaithful to their partner. God wants couples to remain loyal to one another (Hebrews 13:4-7).

In today’s world, divorce is considered a convenience, especially if one or the other party is unhappy. We call evil good and believe that God is fine with it, but He is not. In marriage, God makes two people one flesh in body and soul (Genesis 2:22-24; Matthew 19:4-6). He desires godly children from this union. He considers divorce as an act of overwhelming cruelty. That is why God hates divorce.

When we reject the Word of the Lord, we lose our credibility. We are no longer wise, but foolish. When a person is unfaithful to the Lord, God will sometimes take their mate from them and give their mate and their possessions to someone else. Then the cruel and unloving mate will be cast down from the Lord’s favor (Malachi 2:14-17; Jeremiah 8:8-12)

God desires for us to choose to be fulfilled with our mate, and to let their good points make us happy. If we surround our mate with love, even if they are mean or inattentive, then God’s blessings will be on us (Proverbs 5:18-19). Most people do not just decide to be harsh or angry or neglectful for the fun of it! They are wounded individuals who need God’s healing (James 5:16 http://www.theophostic.com ).

Prayer:
Father God, teach wives to live in submission to their husband and teach husbands to gladly lay down their life for their wife, just like Jesus did for us. There is not a man alive that does not love his own body, so help him to love his wife just as he does himself. Help us to submit to one another out of respect for You. Remind us that we are complete in You, regardless of the circumstances in our marriage and in our life (Ephesians 5:21-22; Colossians 2:10).

Thought for the Day:
Every godly husband loves his wife as he loves himself and every authentic Christian wife will respect her husband. – Ephesians 5:23

Marital Wisdom

The Bible is a complete marriage manual, which God provided for us to use. It covers every little detail and even suggests consequences for a man who fails to follow its precepts (1 Peter 3:7). A man needs to listen to his wife and take her seriously (Colossians 3:19). If she mentions his inconsiderate habits, he can change them (Proverbs 28:13).

 

As the stronger vessel, he can carry heavy items or open the door for her, especially if she has both hands full (1 Peter 3:7).  He assists in the care of their children by helping with homework, enforcing table manners and supervising bath and bedtime (Galatians 6:2). He helps with the laundry, dishes and vacuuming, especially if she also works a full-time job (Ephesians 5:28). Above all, he speak kindly to her (Colossians 3:19).

 

Resentment will foster irritation, anger and impatience in your tone of voice and body language; so keep a short account of wrongs (1 Corinthians 13:4-8). Sometimes you may not even know what is causing these negative emotions, so take time to pray about it. Do not withhold physical attention from one another, except for a consensual time of prayer and fasting (1 Corinthians 7:3-5; 1 Thessalonians 4:4).

 

Not many men will neglect their own body, and God commands men to care for their wife’s need with as much consideration as they have for their own needs (Ephesians 5:28). A godly husband honors his wife and appreciates all that she does for him and his family. He ministers to his wife’s body, spirit and soul – her mind, will and emotions, in the same way that Christ cherishes His Bride, the church (Ephesians 5:22-23).

 

Leave love notes, phone messages, emails, texts and little gifts to remind your wife that you cherish her. Spend time together having fun. Schedule a date night into your weekly calendar and guard it fiercely. Make one another your main priority. Ask what you can do to help each other every day. Pray together and submit to one another as joint heirs to the grace of life (Ephesians 5:21).

 

Prayer:

Father God, teach each husband to shepherd his wife and children as the loving caretaker of their body, soul and spirit, considering his family’s needs above his own, laying down his life for his loved ones as Christ did for His Bride (1 Timothy 5:8; Ephesians 5:25).

 

Remind all wives to give their full attention to their husband and to listen to him daily and show joy over his victories and concern about his setbacks. Teach her to show respect and appreciation for him for all that he does for their family and home (Ephesians 5:33). Help each couple to work together to raise their children in Your nurture and counsel.

 

Thought for the Day:

Take time in your marriage to nourish and cherish one another. – Ephesians 5:29