Healing from Abusive Behavior – Part 2

Victims of abuse may turn into abusers in order to erase the shame, fears and insecurities, which plague them. They neglect those whom they should cherish, and they allow negative emotions to control our life and theirs.

We may use anger as a means to protect our self from further abuse, but this sends mixed messages. People never know when we will patiently suffer as a martyr or blow up like a volcano at the least provocation.

We may not be able to trust people, but we can trust God. Rather than acting with bombastic and combative behavior, we find our strength and confidence in Christ’s quiet resolve within us.

Then we set boundaries, and firmly but quietly caution people not to cross the line (Isaiah 30:15). They may test our boundaries; but if we consistently remind them, they will soon learn to respect us.

The older we get, the more we tell our self that the abuse happened a long time ago and we should get over it. Yet the shameful effects of the violation and the loss of our innocence and sense of trust can last a lifetime.

We may even find our self questioning if the abuse actually happened. We live in denial and convince our self that our abuser is a revered person who could never do anything that horrific.

When a trigger reminds us of the situation, it is because our soul is crying out for validation and comfort. Our true inner self is desperately attempting to gain our attention and to make us take the abuse seriously enough to stop it or to simply acknowledge it.

Snippets of words, body language, the shape of certain plants, an over-reaction that we cannot explain, bizarre behavior that has no basis in reality are all ways that our soul uses to force us to face and validate the incident(s).

Journaling will enable us to get in touch with the episode(s) and tell our story of abuse without having to make it public knowledge. Journaling validates our feelings, nurtures our wounded soul and is extremely healing.

Prayer:
Father God, You collect all of our tears in Your bottle and avenge every one of them (Psalm 56:8). Even if we feel that we somehow caused or deserved the abuse, You wash away our shame and replace it with the righteousness of Christ (Isaiah 61:7).

Remind us that forgiving our perpetrator actually helps us to heal by taking them off our “hook” and placing them firmly on Your hook. You are much better at rendering vengeance than we are (Romans 12:19; Deuteronomy 32:35). Thank You for healing us from our past and giving us a bright future full of Your love and acceptance (Jeremiah 29:11).

Thought for the Day:
Loss of innocence means that a person who was supposed to protect, nurture and cherish us actually abused us and stole from us what rightfully belongs to us alone.

 

For more information, please join me for regular tips about healing at:

https://www.facebook.com/healingourinnerchild/

 

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Why Christian’s Suffer

Christians suffer defeat in our life for many reasons. One is that we are still living through our soul, rather than from our spirit. We pursue worldly gain and fulfillment and end up disappointed.

Another reason is that we trust in our own wisdom and counsel. We forget to trust the Lord and to seek His will for each moment of our day, which brings us continual success (Proverbs 3:5-6).

Many Christians are also unaware that a spiritual battle is raging all around us to either tempt us back into Satan’s service or to render our life ineffective for the Kingdom of God (Ephesians 6:12).

Our only source of victory is to allow God’s Spirit to renew our mind, which brings us freedom from the cares of this life and gives us an eternal perspective (Ephesians 5:23).

We gradually learn to reject our human reasoning, which ends our struggle between infinite faith and finite human understanding (Isiah 55:9).

We realize that the testing of our faith produces patience to wait on God in the midst of all of our negative circumstances, so that we can walk in obedience to God’s Spirit each moment of our day (2 John 1:6).

Rather than surviving this world independently of God, we cling to Him as our Savior and Lord. We recognize that we will perish without His constant intervention on our behalf.

This puts the devil and his demons to flight from our life, and allows us to reap the benefits of living victoriously as members of God’s own family (Psalm 103:2).

If we go through the continual trials of life without the joy of the Lord in the midst of them, we can change our focus to realize that there is a seed for a miracle in the midst of each one of them.

Prayer:
Father God, our flesh still pulls us toward humanistic thinking and reasoning. We buy into the world’s view of success and fulfillment; therefore, we work all of our lives to provide temporal blessings for our self. Even if we happen to succeed, in the end we realize the futility of our life spent pursuing worldly gain (Mark 8:36).

Only when we realize our helplessness will we be able to totally surrender to Your benefits and provision for our life. Remind us that only as we live our life in and for You, will we experience the true benefits of Your Life: peace, love and joy in Your Spirit (Romans 14:17).

Thought for the Day:
Even in the midst of the fiery furnace, the three Hebrew children walked with God.- Daniel 3:17-18

Healing from Loss

In this world we will have troubles and trials, but we can rejoice through them all because Christ IN us has already overcome them all (John 16:33).

However, it is important to allow our soul to grieve each loss. Everyone experiences loss at one time or another during our lifetime.

We all react to loss in a similar fashion. We suffer both emotional and physical distress in our grief, caused by the heightened levels of adrenalin in our bloodstream.

When a segment of our support system in this life crumbles, our assurance of security, safety and stability crumble as well.

Part of our purpose, identity, social status and provision vanish. Unfamiliar and unwanted issues occur, which demand our attention and time.

Our life is full of turmoil, loss, isolation and grief. We feel overwhelmed, depressed, hopeless and unable to cope. We find it difficult to function in both our normal roles and new responsibilities.

Some people are angry and others withdraw from society. We feel abandoned by significant others, and maybe even by God.

However, we have hope of full recovering when we cling ever closer to God. He gives us His peace, which transcends all of our circumstances.

Prayer:
Father God, our life on this earth is a series of losses from favorite toys, to special treasures, to important people and places, all of which helped to define who we are. Remind us to allow our self to work through the grief process and not to short-cut our time of healing.

Help us to reflect on the positive side of grief as an opportunity to evaluate our priorities in life, to examine our values and to deepen our beliefs. Guide us as we move toward a more mature relationship with You, and a stronger faith in Your faithfulness as we experience Your provision in all of our negative circumstances.

Thought for the Day:
The impact of loss is so profound that it reaches to the very core of our being and affects every aspect of our life–physically, emotionally, mentally, socially and spiritually.