Disposable People – Part 2 – Advantages of Staying Married

There are many advantages to staying together with our first love. The first benefit is for our children. The continuity of the family is a basic human need.

Children are encouraged that their own marriage will make it through the tough times, just like their parents did. Otherwise, they will develop a disposable mentality as well.

Staying married contributes to overall emotional, mental, spiritual, financial and physical health. It reduces the stress of starting over and the effects of grief, which divorce adds to our life.

Dating new people, while fun in some cases, is risky because everyone has baggage of some sort, visible and invisible. In a second marriage, we often spend more time with our spouse’s children than our own.

Therefore, do not get careless in your marriage; relax, but look, speak and act attractively for one another. Continue dating each other, even when the children come along. Enjoy your mate’s company.

When we and our spouse disagree, we can find a third alternative, on which we can both agree. If there is a seemingly unsolvable issue, get counseling to find an agreeable path.

We may need to take a break, to put a brief time or distance between each other in order to gain a new perspective on our relationship.

A separation for the purpose of reconciliation gives us a chance to talk about our disagreements with the freedom of having a safe place to go if tempers flare or we feel frustrated or unsafe.

We may find that we miss our spouse, the security they give to our life and little joys they bring to our everyday experiences, their laughter and support.

We can both agree to change habits which cause friction in our relationship. We can gain a better understanding of our spouse by talking intimately about each other’s honest feelings, needs and desires.

Forgiveness helps us to rekindle the love we once felt for each other. We will grow to admire, encourage, appreciate, cherish and serve one another all the days of our life, and we will stay together until death parts us.

Prayer:
Father God, remind us that our marriage vows were made to You as well as to our spouse. Prompt us to pray with our spouse, because You help us to resolve our issues. If we take turns praying, each partner praying one sentence at a time, this prevents much of the frustration of praying together. Teach us to pause and listen to You speak to us as we pray too.

Help us to bear one another’s burdens, to be long suffering with each other’s shortcomings, to encourage and build each other up and to enjoy one another’s company. Remind us why we fell in love in the first place and help us to keep the eternal flame of agape love burning.

Thought for the Day:
Love each other deeply, because love covers a multitude of sins. – 1 Peter 4:8

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Communicating Love

“What the world needs now, is love, sweet love. It’s the only thing that there’s just too little of.” – Hal David

Loving communication is rare in this day and age with such busy lifestyles. Many are too wounded to share positive affirmation and loving reinforcement in our relationships. We expect people to feel loved without communication from us that we love them.

We all need to know that we are loved, especially children, but that will not happen unless we communicate our feelings. Spending time, works of service, verbal affirmation, loving touch, focused attention and gifts are all ways to communicate love.

Some of us prefer one or two of these expressions over the rest of them. Other people would be happy with any expression of love as long as it is consistent. Learning the love language of our significant others is a great way to express love to them.
( http://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile ).

If we listen to our spouse, child, neighbor, extended family member, the person in the grocery line or on the bus next to us, we give that person a very rare treat, a gift more precious than anything money can buy.

If we say we do not love another person, we are communicating more about our own character than the other person’s personality. We listen without condescension, belittling or rejection regardless of what they tell us. We simply express God’s love to them.

As mature Believers, we allow God to love that person through us. We communicate the love, patience and concern of Christ through our words, eye contact, facial expressions and body language. We make time to focus our attention on the people that we love.

Prayer:
Father God, make us vessels of honor for Your glory. Use us to spread Your love abroad in the hearts of every person You bring us into contact with during the day, but especially with those closest to us. Remind us that loving someone in our own way is not good enough, because You call us to love them unconditionally, consistently and in a way that is meaningful to them.

Thought for the Day:
We love people continually through the years, by choosing to do loving things for them, even if our feelings do not follow; and we never give up on anyone, because God never gives up on us. – Luke 6:32