Healing from Abusive Behavior – Part 1

Abuse, even a one-time moment of rage that used abuse as punishment or an attempt to control the victim, robs us of our innocence and makes us feel powerless over our own life.

It drives us into a codependent role – attempting to please others to keep them from abusing us. The problem with this faulty thinking is that it often has the opposite effect.

People tend to continue to abuse our good nature, take us for granted and treat us with contempt. A lack of appreciation and more verbal, mental and physical abuse may follow.

We strive throughout our life to lay down our life in hopes that someone will love us; but we actually teach them that it is okay to take advantage of us, because we constantly put our needs last.

Trauma does not always make us stronger. It may also make us a ball of nerves, fear and insecurity. We are actually weaker, because we are always on the defensive.

We may develop PTSD, much like any survivor of a battle zone, and react to life with this fractured thinking and behavior. Medication may be necessary to help us to remain calm and lucid until God heals us.

Journaling helps us to heal by allowing our Inner Parent to understand the deep wounds we experienced and to nurture our Inner Child as we turn our words into a prayer for God’s healing.

Prayer:
Father God, I pray for victims of abuse of every type. Give them the deep comfort that can only come from Your love. Restore to them their joy in life and remove from them the fears and insecurities, which plague their life. Redeem their heart and mind and give them a new outlook on life.

Teach them that although people may not be trustworthy, You are always trustworthy. Help us to remain vulnerable and kind, yet wary and wise (Matthew 10:16). Show us the balance between serving others without teaching them to take us for granted by always putting our needs last.

Thought for the Day:
God’s perfect goodness and love find expression in the midst of wickedness and degradation; because He experiences every slight right along with us and carries our pain and burden for us, if we will relinquish it to Him.

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Renewed Mind – Part 3 – Recovering from Wounds

My counselor listened to my brief account of my childhood and teen years and commented, “You grew up in a war zone. You are suffering from PTSD.” WOW…who knew!

I thought my life was normal. I did not know other people had nurturing, cherishing homes. My parents also suffered abuse in their childhood and young adult lives.

My mother’s own mother died when she was only three years old. She grew up in an alcoholic home, the only daughter with six brothers and a step-mom who had to work every day of her life.

My dad came back from the Korean War with PTSD and he took out his rage on my mom, three brothers and me. He was a mean man who did nice things now and then – a bipolar personality.

My parents did not seek healing for their wounds and passed them on to me and my three brothers by their attitude and behavior toward us, as well as by their example of coping with life.

They wounded us because of their woundedness. They taught me that I was stupid, clumsy, less than enough, had no real positive qualities and that I had to earn their love.

This deeply affected my self-esteem and how I related to other people. Satan planted these lies deep within my subconscious mind and I believed they were true.

Born with a melancholy personality, this treatment drove me further into myself by wounding my soul and corrupting my image of who I was.

I could not look at myself in the mirror. I disgusted myself. My shortcomings and failures taught me to further despise myself. I longed for unconditional love and acceptance of all of my idiosyncrasies.

At a young age, my mom became the responsible one in her childhood home, who buried her feelings and codependently served everyone else. I learned this behavior from her.

She recognized my need for self-esteem and did all in her power to give me opportunities to excel in life. Thankfully, her efforts prevented me from turning to addictions to mask my pain.

Yet, my poor self-image crippled me and hindered my success. Writing poetry saved me from committing suicide and gave me a release and even hope of a better life.

Then, at age 18, I met the Savior Jesus Christ. He started to sanctify my soul – my thoughts, choices and emotions (Philippians 4:8). He brought me to a prayer warrior who helped me to do spiritual battle and to reclaim my wounded soul for God ( http://www.theophostic.com ).

When I moved away from home, I received much more support from my parents. As I received healing from God in my adult life, God helped me to understand and to forgive my parents; and He used me to nurture and to partially heal my parents as well.

God spoke His truth to my soul and replaced Satan’s lies and my negative self-image with His Truth. I learned to love God, love my self and love others with a pure heart.
( http://www.savedhealed.com/iamlist.htm ).

Prayer:
Father God, thank You for saving me when You did. I felt Your Holy Spirit pouring over me, and drenching every cell in my body and soul with Your love. You taught me to meet my own needs, rather than to neglect my needs or to expect others to meet them for me. I am content in Your love for me regardless of my circumstances.

You brought me to the realization that I am already dead in Christ and that He is now my whole life (Colossians 3:3-4; Galatians 2:20). The enticements of this world, sin and the devil no longer appeal to me. Thank You that Jesus balances my attitudes, opinions and goals in life.

Thought for the Day:
God taught me to find joy in my negative circumstances and to have faith in His faithfulness by changing my focus in life from carnal, earthly affairs to spiritual, eternal ones.
– Romans 8:28