Healing from Abusive Behavior – Part 1

Abuse, even a one-time moment of rage that used abuse as punishment or an attempt to control the victim, robs us of our innocence and makes us feel powerless over our own life.

It drives us into a codependent role – attempting to please others to keep them from abusing us. The problem with this faulty thinking is that it often has the opposite effect.

People tend to continue to abuse our good nature, take us for granted and treat us with contempt. A lack of appreciation and more verbal, mental and physical abuse may follow.

We strive throughout our life to lay down our life in hopes that someone will love us; but we actually teach them that it is okay to take advantage of us, because we constantly put our needs last.

Trauma does not always make us stronger. It may also make us a ball of nerves, fear and insecurity. We are actually weaker, because we are always on the defensive.

We may develop PTSD, much like any survivor of a battle zone, and react to life with this fractured thinking and behavior. Medication may be necessary to help us to remain calm and lucid until God heals us.

Journaling helps us to heal by allowing our Inner Parent to understand the deep wounds we experienced and to nurture our Inner Child as we turn our words into a prayer for God’s healing.

Prayer:
Father God, I pray for victims of abuse of every type. Give them the deep comfort that can only come from Your love. Restore to them their joy in life and remove from them the fears and insecurities, which plague their life. Redeem their heart and mind and give them a new outlook on life.

Teach them that although people may not be trustworthy, You are always trustworthy. Help us to remain vulnerable and kind, yet wary and wise (Matthew 10:16). Show us the balance between serving others without teaching them to take us for granted by always putting our needs last.

Thought for the Day:
God’s perfect goodness and love find expression in the midst of wickedness and degradation; because He experiences every slight right along with us and carries our pain and burden for us, if we will relinquish it to Him.

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Overcoming Life’s Hurdles

Mental, emotional and physical pain and stress, loss and grief, and wounded individuals put us at risk for reaping negative results in life. In addition, unresolved childhood trauma increases the effects of our current distress. ( http://www.theophostic.com )

With repeated trauma, we can even develop various degrees of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and we view the world as a painful, alarming, treacherous place.

Separation through death, divorce, rejection, abandonment, etc. will affect our future relationships. We lose our sense of safety and security and may even live in continual fear and insecurity.

Our breathing is shallow, which affects our lungs, diaphragm and heart. Stomach, heart, lung and nerve issues cause us problems. Our mind can even affect us with physical symptoms, which have no physical source.

On guard in every situation, we are in a constant state of “fight or flight”. This makes us combative and easily angered when we feel vulnerable and helpless.

A lack of trust causes us to build thick walls around our soul. Then we feel lonely, disheartened, hopeless and overwhelmed. We may even blame our self for what happens to us.

Attempting to prepare our self for the unexpected, we delve into worse case scenarios to prepare our self for any contingency; yet, we only provide our self with a false sense of power and protection from future trauma.

When events in our life are going well, we tend to rely less on God and more on our self. We have the idea that we deserve God’s love and blessings, because we are so good.

However, with this attitude, we will never feel totally secure in life. We will live in constant anxiety, because we fear that if we fail in some area, we will lose His love and be lost for eternity.

The opposite is actually true. God loved us while we were still sinners, is our everlasting Savior and continues to love us unconditionally (Romans 5:8; 1 John 1:9). He is the same yesterday, today and for eternity (Hebrews 13:8).

Prayer:
Father God, thank You for allowing us to fail and to learn from our mistakes, to suffer trails for Your glory so that people can see our love for and trust in You regardless of our earthly status. Teach us to rely totally on You and not to pursue the world or the flesh.

Remind us to stop depending on our self and to begin to depend solely on You for every step we take (Proverbs 3:5-6). Help us to do only the works, which You ordained for us to achieve, rather than asking You to bless our works (Ephesians 2:10).

Thought for the Day:
When we rely on God’s Holy Spirit for direction and strength, we listen to God’s Spirit, step out in faith, and find all the resources we need to achieve all that God ordained us to do.
– Philippians 2:12-13, 4:13; Matthew 7:7-8

Good News for the Distressed

The Psalms is a great place to spend time when you are distressed or in trouble of any kind. Poor David and his friends, who contributed to the Psalms, experienced all of the negative emotions we are prone to today. They journaled their feelings and then usually ended up praising God before the Psalm is finished. What a great example to us.

There is no shame in having a bad day, experiencing emotional trouble in your heart or feeling stress (Psalm 25:17). We all experience negative thoughts and emotions, which are triggered by daily life. In addition to these current negative emotions, we also have emotional baggage from our past. In former experiences, we left segments of our true self along the road we have traveled.

Current incidents draw from the negative emotions we felt in these former traumatic conflicts. Names, places, colors, smells, topics of conversation or TV dramas, ornamental objects, etc. may all trigger memories from our past, which caused us pain or distress. All of that negative emotion comes to the surface and adds to our current emotions.

Satan will plant a lie in each of these negative incidents. If we take time to explore these former experiences, we can resolve those conflicts and clean up some of our emotional baggage, which we accumulated over the years. This prevents these past events from influencing our future and controlling our current life. We put a stop to Satan’s torment.

(Read these three free chapters and watch the videos: http://theophostic.com/page13051343.aspx )

Prayer:
Father God, the devil is out to steal our joy, kill our ministry and destroy our relationships (John 10:10). We no longer need to give him permission or suffer from his torment. Help us to persevere in prayer with Your Spirit in a quiet, undisturbed place and time. Remind us to journal, so we have a way to vent our pent-up emotions. You will reveal to us the issues at the root of our feelings, and You will heal us with Your Word of Truth by Your Spirit.

Thought for the Day:
The Holy Spirit within us knows the exact time and place these trauma’s occurred, and He will take us back to that memory, uncover Satan’s lie and heal our emotions. This discontinues the current pain, which haunts us from the past.

Spiritual Healing – Part 2

God’s Sweet, Living Water of Healing

Every individual has certain basic needs: Physical, Safety, Love, Belonging, Acceptance and Potential. If the fulfillment of any of these areas is thwarted, we will grow into adulthood with wounds from our childhood and early adult years. Satan plants a lie along with every disappointment we ever experience, and these lies influence our beliefs as adults. ( http://www.theophostic.com )

A lack of fulfillment in these areas of basic human needs can impact our ability to function normally as adults. In Part 1 of Spiritual Healing, I wrote about my anger and bitterness stemming from these needs not being met. In my case of experiencing abuse and deprivation, I grew up feeling fearful and insecure. This trauma caused a mental and emotional disorder due to the reoccurring stress (PTSD).

Since I met the Lord Jesus Christ, however, I realized that the more intimate our union with Christ is, the more willing we are to totally surrender our life to God’s will. This even allows us to look for the seeds of a miracle in every trial we experience. When we come to Christ, He gradually fulfills in us the unmet needs of our past and fills us with His sweet Living Water (John 4:14).

God also uses His process of sanctification to cleanse our thought life, because thoughts determine how we act. Our thoughts originate from three sources:
1. From our past, which is still alive in our subconscious mind
2. From our perception of life through our five senses
3. From satanic forces out to destroy us by distorting God’s Truth (1 Peter 5:8). (More in the next post.)

Prayer:
Father God, You warned us that Satan is our accuser (Revelations 12:10). Any negative thoughts sent to belittle and debilitate us come from him. If we surrender to Your will for each moment of our day, Your Spirit will lead us into all truth (John 16:13). Then, we will filter every situation in our life through Your lens of Truth (1 Corinthians 2:12-13). Remind us that if we are seated with You in heavenly places, we have no need to worry about our life on this earth.

Thought for the Day:
Nothing will occur in our life that is not already part of God’s plan for us. – Ephesians 2:6,10