The Reasons We Over-React

We over-react when we use more emotion in our response than is necessary. The issue does not warrant the intensity of our reaction, but we over react for many reasons.

An over-reaction may be due to emotions in our subconscious, which are connected to unresolved issues in our past. Satan planted a lie in past trauma, and these lies fuel our current reactions.

For instance, our mate’s behavior reminds us of the behavior we experienced with someone else in former times. Our soul combines the pain we felt back then with the pain we feel in the moment, and the vehemence is overwhelming both to us and the person receiving our wrath.

God wants to help us to resolve these previous issues by discovering Satan’s lies and hearing God’s Truth. This negates the power of the lies, and the intensity of our over-reaction because of them. Once the past pain is gone, it no longer intensifies our emotions in the current moment (www.theophostic.com).

Another reason for over-reacting is that we make assumptions and react before getting all of the facts. For instance, our mate is late…again. We assume there is an affair and we blast him with the anger fueled by our devastation.

The remedy for over-reacting due to misconceptions is to gain all of the facts before we react. Calmly sit the person down and ask them to explain their behavior. When we see their actions from their point of view, we may realize Satan planted another lie, which caused our assumption.

Another reason for over-reactions is that many people refrain from nagging by swallowing irritations or slights each time they occur. We think they are gone, but they are actually stored in our subconscious mind. They pile higher and deeper until one final trespass triggers a violent over-reaction.

The person who prompted this response from us looks at us as if we have two heads. They cannot understand why some insignificant occurrence would cause us to over-react so emotionally and sometimes violently.

The remedy for this is to ask God to reveal the reason every time their behavior irritates us or hurts our feelings. Is there an idol in our life, which we must lay at Jesus’ feet? Do we have preconceived notions, for which we need clarification? Is there a misunderstanding that needs an explanation?

Once we discover whether the problem is in their behavior or our perception, we are free to discuss it with them quietly and calmly. We no longer allow issues to build up within our soul.

We may need to request that the person change their behavior. If they try to change and fail, we can give them more opportunities to change their habitual conduct. We would want them to give us more chances as well. However, we may need to set boundaries until a resolution is found.

Another cause for irritation is that we fail to make sure the person paid attention to us when we made a request. They have to focus on our words and hear and understand what we are actually saying.

Otherwise, they may think they are fulfilling our request, only to find out they only paid attention to half of what we said. Or maybe they were focusing on something else and not paying attention to us at all or they have “selective” hearing.

We can rectify this issue by asking the person to repeat what we just said. Then, we can ask them when they think we can expect our request to be fulfilled. We can make sure that they take us seriously and do not discount our request to have our needs met.

Another reason that we over-react is that we misunderstand what is said. For instance, Sally made the statement to Mary that she was faithful in attendance to Bible study. Mary thought Sally said that she was thankful that Mary missed attendance at Bible study. Mary was offended for no reason, because she simply misunderstood a word that sounded similar, but had a very different meaning.

Over-reactions are sudden bursts of passionate emotions, which end as quickly as they erupt; however, like a volcano, they leave behind deep scars that ruin the composition of the relationship.

Prayer:
Father God, human communication is one of the hardest feats we must accomplish in our lifetime. We all speak and hear from prejudices, which interpret what is said from our own paradigm.

That is why You inspired James to tell us to be “quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger” (James 1:19). We must listen with twice as much attention, so that we do not react with anger, or trigger an angry reaction in someone else.

Thank You for helping us to face the pain of our past and to hear Your Truth about Satan’s lies, so that each issue resolves and never hurts us again. Thank You for teaching us not to take one another for granted, to turn off the TV or computer, or to put down our book, phone, game controller, etc and pay complete attention to one another when we communicate our feelings or needs. Thank You for reminding us to communicate with You during each moment of our day.

Thoughts for the Day:
At times, wounds caused by an over-reaction may never heal, and friends or mates part company; when instead, one of these simple resolutions could put out the fire at the very core of the issue.

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A Fulfilled Life

As humans, we are so engrossed in our soul that we fail to realize that our spirit is dead within us (Ephesians 2:1). We instinctively know there is a missing ingredient within, but we ignore this fact much of our life.

This causes us to delve deeper into the realm of the soul – the thoughts of our mind, our fleshly choices and the tyrant of our emotions. We seek satisfaction in any way, time and place we can find it.

We refuse to believe anything, which does not make sense to our human understanding. We even perverted the Serenity Prayer to relate to the “god of our understanding.”

As fallen humanity, we are so blinded by our pride and rebellion to the Truth of God’s Word that we miss out on the blessings, which God wants to provide for each and every one of us right here and now, as well as in the future.

The power of God for salvation is freely given to everyone who chooses to believe, without regard to color, age, race, financial status and ethnic background (Romans 1:16).

Our righteous God reveals a fulfilled life in His love to those who choose to reject the counsel of our pride and rebellion; and instead, to have faith in His faithfulness (Romans 1:16-17).

Prayer:
Father God, You freely give all things to those who put their trust in You. You infuse us with Your joy, which is our strength to live a fulfilled life in this sin-cursed world. Even creation cries out for the revelation of Your sons, so that You will restore the former glory of Paradise to the earth.

Thank You for moving by Your Spirit in my life and giving me the faith of Your Son, Jesus Christ, to believe in You (Galatians 2:20). Thank You for showering me with Your love every moment of my day and teaching me to follow the direction of Your Spirit through each one of them. Dwelling in the center of Your will is the happiest place on earth.

Thought for the Day:
We can conqueror every negative aspect in this life, just because of God’s love for us. – Romans 8:37-39

The Blessings of God’s Law

God did not give Moses the Law in order to restrict and burden the people with too many rules to keep. He gave the Law as wisdom and enlightenment of how we can live a healthy life in body, soul and spirit. Our Heavenly Father developed the Law in order to protect us from our self and from people who desire to perpetuate evil on others. The Law also leads us to our need for Christ (Galatians 3:24-26).

As we read His Word and meditate on His Law, God uses these words to caution and instruct us during our daily life. This keeps us from breaking the laws of our nation and ending up in jail, it stops us from contracting illnesses from other people, it prevents us from getting enslaved by addictions, it averts disasters in our personal relationships, etc.

God will circumvent His law in certain cases when He divinely intervenes in the circumstances of our life. For instance, if two cars are heading toward one another on a collision course, God can send His angels to prevent a wreck. We usually reap what we sow in life. Although because of God’s mercy and grace, He often protects us from our own, or someone else’s choices (Galatians 6:7; Isaiah 63:7-9).

In addition to His Word, God also uses His Spirit to speak to His Saints and to direct our choices (Proverbs 3:5-6). However, if we are not committing our way to the Lord and walking in His Spirit, then we will often harvest the results of our humanistic decisions. As we walk in God’s will instead of our own, we are filled with peace and joy, and our life is much more fulfilled.

Prayer:
Father God, thank You for Your Law, which gives us the wisdom to live productive and blessed lives. You do not want us to make our plans and ask You to bless them. Instead, You want us to hear from You and to accomplish the works You created us to do (Ephesians 2:10). In order to hear from You, we need to quiet our body, ignore the thoughts and emotions in our soul, and focus on Your still, small voice communicating with us through our spirit. Show us Your ways, and teach us Your truths as we wait on You all through the day (Psalm 25:4-5; 27:11; 86:11).

Thought for the Day:
There is no conflict between the law and promises of God; the law shows that we are all controlled by sin, but those who believe in Christ will receive God’s promises. – Galatians 3:21

Enjoying God’s Presence

Many people tell me that they feel like God left them. They no longer experience the presence and anointing of His Spirit in their life, and they miss that feeling. They want the union with God, which they had during their first experience with salvation. God promises never to leave us (Hebrews 13:5); therefore, in actuality, we leave Him. When we do, it is impossible to feel His presence.

We move away from God in many ways. Those who are Christians in name only will indulge their flesh with no remorse (2 Peter 2:20-22). Our lifestyle choices will often pull us away. False prophets lead others away and distract them from worshiping the one true God, (2 Peter 2:1-19). Some people in crisis pray for salvation, but then reject the Word of Life and turn from walking in righteousness (Romans 13:8-14; Ephesians 2:2).

King David lost God’s presence one time too. When He walked away from purity and God’s ways, He begged God to help him to overcome his evil heart. He entreated God to restore the joy of His salvation and to renew a Godly spirit in him (Psalm 51:10-12). If we walk in the Spirit, it is much harder to fulfill the desires of our flesh (Galatians 5:16-25). We lose the craving to be around sin or to take part in it.

We see the destruction that sin leads to and we want the blessings of God on our life instead (1 Peter 4:1-5). During the sanctifying process, even if an authentic Believer does not sense God’s presence, we are still basking in His blessings. Once we begin walking in the Spirit all of the time, however, we always feel the presence of God. Even if God is silent, we enjoy His company, and we live a life of praise to His name.

Prayer:
Father God, through Your Spirit, You give us hope that we will live with You throughout eternity (Romans 8:22-25). Help us to walk as children of the Light, by faith and not by sight (2 Corinthians 5:8; Ephesians 5:8). We want to live in love, just as Christ did by offering Himself as a sacrifice for our sins (Ephesians 5:2; Philippians 3:16-18). Remind us to pray in the Spirit, so that our prayers will be effective (Romans 8:26-28). Thank You for giving us Your Spirit to live in us each and every day.

Thought for the Day:
If we abide in Christ, He abides in us in the same relationship as the branch and the vine, and together we will bear much fruit by His Spirit with us. – John 15:4

How to Prevent a Divorce

When people, joined by God in marriage, choose to divorce, there is understandably an immense amount of pain and brokenness, which affects both lives. Even the person who initiated the divorce will suffer trauma. Financial, physical and employment setbacks occur in both lives. Even the emotions in both parties are traumatized.

This may make no common sense; but in matters of the soul, it makes perfect sense. Our soul is divided into our mind, will and emotions, and all three are negatively affected by a divorce. We also have three ego states in our mind, called the Inner Parent, Inner Adult and Inner Child. The Inner Child of the person initiating the divorce will also experience shock and distress.

Even if the person really wants the divorce for various reasons, their Inner Child will still feel victimized. Their childlike nature, which needs nurturing, feels abandoned by the partner they are divorcing. They will often suffer feelings of rejection and abandonment right along with the person, which they no longer want to live with.

There are many unresolved issues in a relationship, which cause the marriage to dissolves into divorce. Years of underlying problems, formerly swept under the rug, are hanging in the air between the two parties. They blame each other, and some spouses are not willing to take any responsibility for the breakdown in the marriage.

We all have failings and idiosyncrasies, which may cause our partner to get weary and to wander. If we address these concerns instead of just giving up, we can find alternative methods of action. An equitable solution that is agreeable to both people will always improve the relationship. In humility, both partners can resolve the problems and allow God’s love to heal their wounds.

Truthfully, prior to any divorce, both partners need to forgive and to ask for forgiveness for the slights and issues they caused in the marriage. Mutual forgiveness will heal many injures, and may even prevent this drastic, unnecessary divorce. Then, there will be no more desire to separate, and the couple will joyfully end up growing old together.

Prayer:
Father God, our true fulfillment is found through service to You in our church and community, as well as in our marriage. We can serve our mate regardless of how we feel about them. In fact, we are serving You by serving them. This way we put our marriage in Your hands, relying on You to change us and our partner. You hate divorce and are not pleased with anyone who obtains a divorce without Biblical grounds for it (Matthew 19:9). Help us to bear one another’s burdens and to fulfill Your plans for our life (Galatians 6:2).

Thought for the Day:
Divorce divides us from the one, which we thought would share our hopes and dreams and grow old with us, and it forces us into the death of a relationship once birthed in love.

Missing Out on God’s Blessings

Carnal people may have prayed for salvation, but they skip one important step…salvation also implies obedience (Romans 8:5-7). If people refuse to walk away from their sin and to believe in God, they are probably not Christians (1 John 2:3,3:6-9; Ephesians 5:5). They constantly grieve and quench the Holy Spirit with their sinful choices (Ephesians 4:30; 1 Thessalonians 5:19).

A carnal person is too proud or fearful to trust God. They rely on their own efforts, because they do not want to bother God. They live a roller coaster life, stressed out and weary. They are either very legalistic or very undisciplined. They only open their Bible on Sunday. When given a choice, they slide into sin, because it is easier than following God’s way out of temptation (1 Corinthians 10:13).

The problem with living a carnal life is that we miss out on the abundant blessings of living a spirit-filled life. God loves us and planned every day of our life before we were ever born (Psalm 139:16). Life is so much easier when we live it God’s way. His Spirit indwells us at salvation and fills us with each new day (John 3:1-8; Ephesians 1: 13-14; 5:18; Romans 8:8-10).

We cannot fill our self with God’s Spirit through human effort (Acts 8:18-24). God’s presence in our life demands obedience. Without it, God’s Spirit is quenched. The still small voice of God is always there to lead us, if we will just listen and obey. God’s Spirit guides and empowers each step we take as witnesses and ministers for God’s Kingdom (Acts 1:1-9; John 1:12, 14:16-17; Colossians 2:9-10).

Prayer:
Father God, thank You for birthing us by Your Spirit as authentic Believers. Your peace fulfills us as Your Spirit glorifies Christ through us (John 7:37-39; 16:1-15). As baby Christians we mimic the sinful behavior of the world, but we are constantly growing in love and obedience to Your Word (1 Corinthians 3:1-3). We struggle with our carnal desires, but we eventually realize that we are already free in Christ, who took our condemnation and gave us His righteousness (Romans 7:15-8:1). We want to walk in Your Spirit and in Your service every day of our life.

Thought for the Day:
When we obey God’s Spirit, we do not gratify the lusts of our flesh or desire what is contrary to God’s Word, because living by God’s Spirit is the opposite of abiding in a sinful lifestyle. – Galatians 5:16-18

Never Alone

I want to encourage every lonely person reading this post to realize from your innermost depths – not just in the surface of your thoughts, but down in the depth of your soul – that you are not alone (Hebrews 13:5; Psalm 46:7, 62:5). God is your husband and Jesus is the lover of your soul (Isaiah 54:5; John 3:16). Having a loving and nurturing mate in your life is just not as important as you think it is.

If God wanted you to have a special human relationship right now, He would certainly provide one for you. He cares about every area of your life. You can enjoy God’s total peace, if you will completely surrender this issue to the Lord. It is usually not until you are completely happy with Jesus, and realize that you do not really need a loving mate, that God will provide you with a fulfilled marriage.

The only thing in this life that is truly exciting and fulfilling is serving our King Jesus. When we look for happiness from people or circumstance, we are disappointed. But, when we allow God’s Spirit to direct our steps, we find pure joy. Listen to the Spirit, and let Him direct your steps (Proverbs 3:5-6). Soon you will be so busy for God that you will realize that you are already complete and whole in Him (Colossians 2:10).

We cannot change our life by worrying about anything, or by wishing, hoping or dreaming that it will change. We can take a lesson from the flowers. They bloom right where they are planted. God provides everything they need. We can have the assurance that God will provide for us too. We are even more valuable to God than any bird, animal or tree (Luke 2:27-28).

Start counting your blessings. Stop looking at what you do not have and start thanking God for what you do have. Before long, He will start giving you even more than you ever dreamed possible. He puts His desires in our heart and fulfills them for us (Psalm 37:4). If having a mate is His desire, He will certainly bring one to you in His timing and way.

·I met my husband at a bookstore. What are the odds of that????

·My girlfriend met her future husband when her plumbing leaked and she called a plumber.

·A friend met his future wife when she came in Walmart singing praises to the Lord and he joined her in singing.

·Another man went to the wrong house looking for a certain address and met another of my friends; a week later he returned to that wrong address and asked my girlfriend on a date.

·Another girlfriend went to visit a sick friend and was introduced to her future husband at their mutual friend’s sickbed.

·Another girlfriend met her Canadian fiancé at a church in the USA.

·Several of my friends wanted to divorce their ungodly husbands. Each one decided not to get a divorce and instead to get her own apartment. She continued to be friends with her husband. God honored their commitment and trust and worked in all of these men’s lives.

·Trust God and you will have your own story to tell too.

Prayer:
Father God, we want to seek You and Your Kingdom first and stop worrying about the things, which unbelievers are concerned about (Matthew 6:25-33; Luke 12:22-31). We know that You have our best interest in Your heart and that You will supply every one of our needs from Your glorious riches (Philippians 4:19). Help us to focus on You and Your will for us instead of our own will for our life. Remind us that You love us so much that You sent Your Son to die for us.

Thought for the Day:
As we place our hope solely in the Lord, we will find true joy, contentment and peace.