Too often, a person is devastated by divorce, or tired of the single life, and they will cling to the first person who shows them kindness and love. These “saviors” are often wolves in sheep’s clothing and prey on vulnerable divorcees in order to take advantage of their earthly resources, robbing them of their life’s savings, car, home and worldly goods.
This disheartens the single person and leaves the divorcee devastated, wounded and disillusioned all over again. Pay attention to every red flag that pops up during your interaction with any new person in your life. How do they respond in a crisis? What is their emotional personality – do they react in anger or do they stuff their emotions?
Are you really compatible with this person, or are you just lonely and not wanting to live alone? It is far better to live alone than to shackle yourself to someone out of the will of God (Proverbs 21:9, 25:24; Proverbs 17:1). Be involved with this new person. Spend time around his/her family and friends. Do they act the same way around them that they do around you?
Are their words, actions and personality, which they are projecting to you, the same around people who know them well? What expressions do you see in their face and body language? What hint of exasperation, meanness or controlling is in their voice inflections and words? If you feel any caution in your soul or spirit about this person, keep the relationship casual.
Wait on the Lord’s direction. He may move you on to someone new. Spend time alone with God and allow Him to be your best friend and the Lover of your soul (Isaiah 54:5; Proverbs 18:24). Develop a friendship and genuine caring relationship with any potential mate, or your new marriage may not weather life’s storms, and it could end in divorce.
Father God, loneliness often drives both single people and divorcees into an unwise marriage. They are as unhappy in this marriage as they were as a single person or in their first marriage. Remind us that loneliness is a choice, not a state of being. We can join group activities to cultivate joy in our life. Help us to send our roots down deeper in our relationship with You instead of looking for love in all the wrong places. We need to wait on You, because You have a perfect plan for our life (Ephesians 2:10).
Thought for the Day:
We can find fulfillment through service to God, His church and our community instead of rebounding or settling, and expecting the illusion of a perfect marriage to eradicate our feelings of loneliness and a lack of contentment.