How to Prevent a Divorce

When people, joined by God in marriage, choose to divorce, there is understandably an immense amount of pain and brokenness, which affects both lives. Even the person who initiated the divorce will suffer trauma. Financial, physical and employment setbacks occur in both lives. Even the emotions in both parties are traumatized.

This may make no common sense; but in matters of the soul, it makes perfect sense. Our soul is divided into our mind, will and emotions, and all three are negatively affected by a divorce. We also have three ego states in our mind, called the Inner Parent, Inner Adult and Inner Child. The Inner Child of the person initiating the divorce will also experience shock and distress.

Even if the person really wants the divorce for various reasons, their Inner Child will still feel victimized. Their childlike nature, which needs nurturing, feels abandoned by the partner they are divorcing. They will often suffer feelings of rejection and abandonment right along with the person, which they no longer want to live with.

There are many unresolved issues in a relationship, which cause the marriage to dissolves into divorce. Years of underlying problems, formerly swept under the rug, are hanging in the air between the two parties. They blame each other, and some spouses are not willing to take any responsibility for the breakdown in the marriage.

We all have failings and idiosyncrasies, which may cause our partner to get weary and to wander. If we address these concerns instead of just giving up, we can find alternative methods of action. An equitable solution that is agreeable to both people will always improve the relationship. In humility, both partners can resolve the problems and allow God’s love to heal their wounds.

Truthfully, prior to any divorce, both partners need to forgive and to ask for forgiveness for the slights and issues they caused in the marriage. Mutual forgiveness will heal many injures, and may even prevent this drastic, unnecessary divorce. Then, there will be no more desire to separate, and the couple will joyfully end up growing old together.

Prayer:
Father God, our true fulfillment is found through service to You in our church and community, as well as in our marriage. We can serve our mate regardless of how we feel about them. In fact, we are serving You by serving them. This way we put our marriage in Your hands, relying on You to change us and our partner. You hate divorce and are not pleased with anyone who obtains a divorce without Biblical grounds for it (Matthew 19:9). Help us to bear one another’s burdens and to fulfill Your plans for our life (Galatians 6:2).

Thought for the Day:
Divorce divides us from the one, which we thought would share our hopes and dreams and grow old with us, and it forces us into the death of a relationship once birthed in love.

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It’s Your Choice

Brokenness can either push you toward God or away from Him. If we allow discouragement to cause us to live in bitterness and anger, we will blame God. However, if we realize worldly temptations, sin and the devil cause these negative aspects to occur, then we will surrender to God. What Satan tries to use for our demise, God turns around for our good.

Overwhelming helplessness is a fork in the road. We choose which way we will go. If we decide to hate God, our life only gets worse, nothing works out for us, and in the end, we are hardened and lonely. If we settle into following hard after God, His grace helps us to climb the mountain of our pain into His waiting arms (Psalm 63:8; 1 Corinthians 15:10; Isaiah 40:11). He binds up our wounds and ultimately heals us (Psalm 147:3).

We cannot possibly be in control of every situation in our life; but God is. God had a hedge of protection around His servant Job. Satan believed that Job would curse God; so he got permission to all but destroy him. God knew Job’s heart. When Job clung to God through every conceivable trial know to man, God blessed him with more than Satan destroyed (Job 42:10).

When our flesh and heart fail us, God strengthens us. He is our portion – all we need to prosper in this life (Psalm 73:26). There is no need to give in to discouragement or fear, because our God is always with us and holds us in the palm of His hand (Isaiah 41:10). God calls us to come to Him, so that He can give us His rest (Matthew 11:28).

If we yoke up with Christ throughout our life and learn from Him, our soul finds deepening rest. He makes every burden light, because He is on the other side of the yoke with us (Matthew 11:29-30). Jesus gives us His peace, which is more intense than anything this world has to offer. His peace helps us to overcome every fear, and all confusion and distress (John 14:27).

Prayer:
Father God, Your power is perfected in our weaknesses. We can actually glory in our idiosyncrasies and foibles, because then the power of Christ rests on us. Through it all, Your grace is sufficient for us (2 Corinthians 12:9). Remind us to trust in You with every part of our soul – our mind, will and emotions – and not to rely on our human understanding. If we acknowledge You in all of our thoughts, words and deeds, You will encourage and direct us (Proverbs 3:5-6).

Thought for the Day:
Give your brokenness to God, because He will sustain His righteous Saints and not allow us to be shaken by our circumstances. – Psalm 55:22