God did not design marriage so that our mate can meet all of our needs. God desires to do that for us. He also gave us the ability to meet many of our own needs. We can ask our mate for what we need and want, but as a human being, he/she is not perfect.
God designed marriage so that we can meet one another’s needs – a reciprocal relationship of giving, not taking. We have physical, emotional, financial, mental and spiritual needs that are overwhelming at times.
However, God has a plan to meet all of our needs through His glorious riches (Philippians 4:19). He may not provide what we want, but His supply is always better than and more than we can ever imagine.
Even if His answer is yet another trial, these issues drive us deeper under the shadow of His wings (Psalm 91:4). An intimate relationship with the God of the Universe is our comfort, and our constant supply.
Our mate is capable of giving us some of the attention and affection that we need as human beings, but expecting him/her to meet all of our needs is an impossible requirement.
The only reason our marriage carries the “happily ever after” label is due to the fact that we serve one another. As humans we can never be totally selfless, and neither should we serve our mate to our detriment – this is not healthy.
God does not want us to entertain impossible expectations for our spouse to fulfill, but rather, we are to do our best to serve him/her as God’s Spirit directs us all through the day. We learn to love each other with his/her love language. (see: the five love languages quiz)
Life may distract, sidetrack or add undue stress to our life, which makes it even more impossible for us to be a perfect mate. However, our goal is to serve and love our spouse as Christ loves and serves His Bride, the church.
Not as faultlessly as Jesus does, of course; but as we allow Him to love our spouse through us, we make a good team together, working in His service and allowing Him to love the world through us as well.
Father God, help us to live with a forgiving attitude when our mate disappoints us. Remind us not to formulate undue expectations that put unrealistic pressure on our spouse. As we serve each other, teach us to have the humility of Jesus when He washed His disciples’ feet (Matthew 23:11; John 13:13-17).
Remind us that none of us is perfect, and expecting our mate to be perfect is unrealistic and unhealthy. Help us to relax and to follow the leading of Your Holy Spirit every moment of the day. As we serve our spouse without expecting anything in return. We want to be Your servant to our mate, and to glorify You in our every thought, word and deed.
Thought for the Day:
Our spouse always deserves the love of Christ through us, regardless of his/her mood, behavior, words, distraction, inattentiveness, busyness, etc.; we are not perfect and neither are they, but God loves us all, all of the time; and He uses us as vessels of His love to our mate.