From Frightened to Freedom

As a young wife and mother of three, my life was hectic at best. On top of this, I viewed life and reacted to its challenges and issues from a codependent and perfectionistic attitude – double trouble.

 

I wanted to please everyone, so they would like and love me; I thought that the only way to accomplish this feat was to be perfect. I was under the delusion that if I loved and served everyone – even to the detriment of myself – they would love me in return.

 

However, all I did was to teach people to take me for granted and to treat me like a doormat and their unpaid servant – chief cook, bottle washer, baby sitter, housekeeper and problem solver. People took advantage of me, which stressed me out even further.

 

I even did this with God. I attempted to keep every “jot and tittle of the law” (Matthew 5:18), hoping to please God with my undying service, in order to earn His love. I turned into a foolish “Galatian” and ran myself ragged, meeting myself coming and going (Galatians 3:1-3).

 

Stress kept me from sleeping and sleeplessness made me grouchy, which caused me to be short-tempered with those I loved. I hated who I was…I hated me, but I had no idea how to change things.

 

My self-esteem was in the bottom of the tank and I felt like I was drowning in the details of life. Finally, in desperation, I started researching codependence: what caused it and how to get free from it.

 

I learned that I had to stop neglecting my own needs every day and to allow others to meet their own needs once in a while. The books promised that they would still love me anyway, even if I did not “earn” it.

 

I figured that even if they did not love me, then they had no true feelings for me in the first place. I also translated this into the spiritual realm. God already loved me when I was a lost sinner, and He would always love me unconditionally (Romans 5:8); therefore, I could enter His rest and enjoy His favor.

 

This fact stopped the codependence dead in its tracks. I did a 180 degree turn around and walked away from this driven lifestyle. God’s Spirit broke the shackles of expectations that I allowed to chain me to a meager existence.

 

When I entered into God’s rest, I found a security and warmth that I missed all my life. Over the ensuing years, the comfort of God’s rest brought me more peace and joy than I ever dreamed possible; and He continually supplies all of my needs with His glorious riches.

 

Prayer:

Father God, thank You so much for Your grace and mercy, which lead us in Your everlasting way (John 10:28-30; 1 Peter 5:10). You teach us lessons all along life’s path and You bring us into ever-increasing intimacy with Your presence within us. When we let go of the impossible demands of pleasing people and focus instead on walking by the direction of Your Spirit moment by moment, we enter into Your rest, we receive Your gift of mercy and love, and we learn to trust in Your wisdom.

 

Due to Christ’s saving redemption on Calvary’s cross, we are no longer slaves of the demon of perfectionism. Instead, we follow the leading of Your Spirit and rest in Your goodness and grace. We trust in You with our whole heart; acknowledge You in all of our thoughts, words and deeds; and glorify You as You direct our paths (Proverbs 3:5-6).

 

Thought for the Day:

God invites us to bask in His love; abide in His peace and hide under His wings when life scares us (Psalm 91:4); we learn to accept love when it is given and to serve others only when God’s Spirit leads us to do so; this prevents burn-out and promotes joy in living regardless of our circumstances.

 

Our Patched​ Humanity

Through a lifetime of fighting the circumstances, which life deals out to us, we are so encumbered by bandages that it is hard to function. Our body and soul often end up bruised, broken, patched up and and in the hospital – on crutches, just to traverse our day. Our spirit is already dead in sin, and no help to us at all (Ephesians 2:1).

 

Once we come to Christ through salvation, He heals us from the inside out. Our works of righteousness have no influence over God’s love for us or our eternal standing; but they are very necessary for our wedding garment as the Bride to our Savior, King Jesus (Revelation 19:8).

 

We start to focus more on the spiritual, eternal aspects of life rather than the humanistic, temporal issues. Life is no longer about us; but Christ is now our whole life (Colossians 3:3-4).

 

Even when our faith wanes, He helps our unbelief (Mark 9:24). Our spirit is perfect; but our soul – our thoughts, choices and feelings – is still in the process of healing and maturing in His faith within us (Galatians 2:20).

 

God elevates us as His adopted children and we no longer depend on our self (Ephesians 1:5). We turn our faith toward Christ and we live by the direction of His Spirit. His peace floods our soul and our pent-up anger dissolves (Isaiah 26:3).

 

God’s Spirit conforms us to the mind of Christ and transforms our nature to Christ’s divine nature (2 Peter 1:4). He exchanges our human weaknesses with God’s strength; so we can do all things through Christ’s presence within us (2 Corinthians 13:4; Philippians 4:13).

 

Prayer:

Father God, often when we pray, our mind is full of what we did and did not say or do. We cannot get in touch with our true needs, because we are not listening to our own soul. We are not listening to Your Spirit either, who wants to pray and function through us.

 

Yet, as we spend our time in complete and anxious-free prayers of praise, we learn to live unencumbered by things of this earth. We enter into a life of praising and worshipping our living Lord. As we trust in You alone, You make all things work together for our good (Romans 8:28). Our faith is built and strengthened as we see Your faithfulness in our life.

 

Thought for the Day:
Journaling our thoughts, feelings and prayers allows us to empty our soul from its load of cares and concerns; when we look back over what we wrote and the prayers of our year, we see God’s hand, working in the details our life.

 

The Benefits of Emotions

Thoughts and emotions are not the enemy of our spirit or of the Spirit of God. God puts His desires in our heart, and uses negative thoughts and emotions as red flags to alert us to unmet needs and unresolved conflicts in our life.

 

As we take these issues to the cross, we gain God’s perspective on them, and His wisdom and truth on how to overcome or to fulfill them, until His peace rules in our heart.

 

The word “emotion” comes from the Latin word “exmovere” which means “to move out”. Our emotions motivate us to feel, and then to do something about them.

 

Emotions energize us, express how we feel, arouse our passions, spice up our life and restore our soul. Living without emotion is to live in a mental world of clinical, analytical thoughts without expression.

 

Embracing our emotions is healthy and fulfilling. Denying them is clinical and unhealthy. We block off a part of our self that is very much like our God, who exhibits emotion in so many ways.

 

Usually, an emotional person is empathetic, not weak; compassionate, not unstable; child-like, not childish. Emotions are very vital to our psychological and physiological well-being.

 

Emotions influence our attitude about our self, our world and other people. They also impact our actions. We think thoughts and then feel feelings.

 

Our personality influences our emotions and our emotions affect how other people perceive us. Owning our feelings without blaming them on other people is a healthy activity which allows us to effectively control them and to submit them to God’s Holy Spirit to perfect them and to make them more like His fruit (Galatians 5:22-23).

 

Prayer:

Father God, unto You I lift up my soul. My soul often grieves because of the cares of this world. Only You know how to best renew my mind with Your Word, restore my emotions to true joy and peace, and return my will to following after You.

 

You are my heart, and my soul rejoices before you. You set my feet to dancing the dance of joy, and I acknowledge You in all of my ways. We attest to the fact that all glory is due to Your name. You alone are worthy of all of our praises (Ephesians 3:4; Psalm 25:1, 29:2).

 

Thought for the Day:

Our soul is our personality. It contains our thoughts, our choices and our emotions. Faith brings light to our soul, and helps us to think before we speak, so we do not trip over our own words.

 

Life’s Simple Pleasures

Many people question my sanity. I am weird by their way of thinking. I have two pair of shoes – one for home and one for dress. I buy all my clothes at the thrift store or clearance racks. I make my own jewelry, unless it is a gift. I clean my own home and cook most of our meals myself from scratch.

 

My husband has this same mindset. We have basic cable; we live in a trailer without a mortgage, instead of an expensive house; and we do not go to movies or pay exorbitant amounts of money for entertainment. He even makes his own Folgers coffee at home.

 

We have no expensive “toys”, but spend our free time walking in nature and rocking on the front porch. We have one car and paid no interest on it. We also take staycations instead of lavish trips – of course, it helps that we already live in Florida.

 

We live below our means, tithe even on financial gifts and bonuses, and share our savings with missionaries and the needy in our community and around the world. Why do we do this? Do we have a spirit of poverty or a martyr complex?

 

We simply came to the realization that we are not of this world (1 John 2:15-17; Romans 12:2; 1 Corinthians 9:19-23). We find joy in life’s simple pleasures and would prefer to spend time with people than things. We have no desire to partake in the allurement of this world; it does not interest us at all.

 

We find more joy in listening to worship music, writing our devotional blogs, discussing God’s Word, ministering in our local church and being involved in our community, so that God can open doors for us for His divine appointments.

 

We are Saints, not because of our habits, attitude and focus, but due to what Christ did for us on Calvary’s cross. Our chosen lifestyle is a result of His character and nature within us. He gave us the mind of Christ, and we love what He loves and are not interested in the excesses of this life.

 

Prayer:
Father God, whatever we do, it is for Your glory, even something as mundane as eating and drinking (1 Corinthians 10:31). You do care about what we eat and drink, because You want us to care for our body, which is Your temple (1 Corinthians 6:19). You bring health to our bones (Proverbs 3:8).

 

In the beginning, we loved You because You first loved us (1 John 4:19). Then, we gradually grew deeper in love with You until we can honestly say, “Though You slay me; yet, I will serve You” (Job 13:15). This is when we knew that we are living in union with You alone (1 Corinthians 10:31). We enjoy serving You, our Savior, who are also our help and deliverer.

 

Thought for the Day:

The good things in life often become the enemy of the best things; let those who love God’s salvation magnify Him with our body, spirit and soul – thoughts, choices and emotions – so that we do not partake in the excesses of this world. – Psalm 70

 

 

A Positive Lifestyle

Weeping may endure for the night, but joy comes in the morning (Psalm 30:5). With each sunrise, God’s mercies are fresh, new and rejuvenating (Lamentations 3:22-24). This is true whether we are in the midst of a hail storm of trials, or free of all worry and stress.

 

God sends us hugs throughout every single day: the alignment of numbers on the digital clock, a new flower in our garden, the sunrise and set, a formation in the clouds, a stranger’s smile, an unexpected check in the mail, our neighbor’s manicured lawn and flowerbeds, etc.

 

We can even create positive experiences for our self, our mate and our children to enjoy throughout the day – refreshing treats that minister to the body and soul.

 

Rather than listening to the negative self-talk in our mind, programmed there by Satan’s lies and people in our past, we can look in the mirror and tell our soul what we like about our self – our physical, emotional, mental and spiritual assets.

 

We can give joy away if we smile at a stranger, make a new friend, start a new ministry, and practice encouraging others. This brings joy to our soul as well as theirs. Here are other ideas.

 

Plan the menu for the week full of your favorite foods. Take a break from your perpetual diet and eat a pizza full of toppings you enjoy, and indulge in one soft drink that was your favorite as a child.

 

Adopting a pet gives us a focus outside of our self and saves the life of an abused or unwanted animal. Write cards or letters, emails and make phone calls to shut-ins, neglected family members and those in the hospital.

 

Starting a new hobby that we have always wanted to try or auditing an interesting class at the local college improves our soul. Listening to uplifting music in the comfort of our recliner or even dancing around the house as we dust will still our troubled soul.

 

We can take time to lay flat in silence on the couch or bed and take deep breaths – this releases much needed endorphins and oxygen into our bloodstream.

 

Watching a comedy on TV or in a movie will help us to laugh and lighten our mood. Spending time in nature, walking through the grass in bare feet or gardening will help us to connect with the beneficial chemical output of the earth.

 

Think of your own ways to enhance the joy in your life. We can even start a support group with “Secret Santa’s”, prayer partners to share our burdens, and Bible study groups in our neighborhood. The list is endless.

 

Prayer:

Father God, too often we allow Satan to drown us in the worries, stress and burdens in life. We forget that You are our burden bearer and our Provider. You sustain us through good times and bad. You encourage us with Your Word and by Your Spirit. You teach us to encourage one another.

 

Remind us that Your Spirit abides within us with constant words of love and affirmation, and Your Word is full of verses written by people who experienced similar circumstances to our own. Your Word is a light to our path and a lamp for our feet (Psalm 119:105). We love you with all of our body, spirit and soul – our feelings, choices and emotions.

 

Thought for the Day:

Our positive, Christ-centered focus initiates the joy, strength, inspiration and creativity in our life, which all come from God’s Holy Spirit within us.

 

 

 

A Good Marriage – In Crisis

A crisis in a marriage calls for immediate action. We can either drift apart ending in bitterness, unforgiveness and probably divorce; or we can pull together, brainstorm for an equitable solution and pray together as we walk in the Spirit.

 

Divorce is never an option. It destroys lives – especially the life of the children involved in the marriage. They often feel abandoned, at fault for the divorce, and they inevitably question their parents’ love for them.

 

They never learn to resolve conflict in their own relationships and often end up with the same results. Thankfully, a few of them will make wise choices and find mates that balance their personality or are willing to compromise and find common ground.

 

There is nothing more fulfilling in this earthly realm than to have a mate that cherishes us and thinks of us above him/her self. One that will laugh with us – not at us, enjoy hobbies together and serve God right alongside each other.

 

There is no fear in this type of love. We have the confidence that our partner will not throw us away like a sack of trash. They will help us to overcome our fears and insecurities and to love us in spite of them.

 

It is hard to feel secure when our partner does not allow unconditional love to flow from them to us. We are always on edge and never sure of our place in their heart, because we feel their condescension and derision.

 

God’s love is unconditional. A commitment of Agape love in our marriage, shown in action and especially in word, will eradicate our fears and insecurities and give us a solid faith on which to stand (1 John 4:18).

 

We can count on Him to walk in and with us through every trial we experience in our marriage (Isaiah 43:1; Psalm 23:4). He infuses both marriage partners with His fruit in order to dwell together with understanding and unity.

 

Prayer:

Father God, an anxious heart wears us down, but consistent love from our mate goes a long way in building us up (Proverbs 12:25). Remind us not to allow discouragement in a troubled marriage to tear us down, because You are always with us and in us regardless of where we are and with whom we live (Joshua 1:9).

 

Help us not to worry when our mate grows distant from us, because You care for us and will work in our life for our ultimate good (Matthew 6:34; Romans 8:28; Isaiah 35:4; Luke 12:22-26). We humble our self before You and leave all of our worries in Your capable hands, because You care about us and will deliver us in Your timing and way (1 Peter 5:6-7; Psalm 55:22; Deuteronomy 31:6).

 

Thought for the Day:

The Lord is our Savior, not another person, vocation, place or thing; only He can provide us with the security and fulfillment that we long to possess during this lifetime. – Psalm 27:1

 

God-Given Emotions

 

Many people condemn emotions. These individuals focus more on their thoughts and put strict controls over their emotions. They do not trust emotions or emotional people.

 

The chances are that they were severely wounded by an emotional person in their past, or had a stoic person as their role model. They exalt the mind and censure the emotions.

 

The Beatitudes reveal to us that God has and expresses emotions (Matthew 5:1-12). For instance, He is angry with and hates the wicked and prideful as well as those who practice and teach iniquity (Psalm 5:5).

 

He has compassion on the oppressed (Psalm 7:11; Judges 2:18); jealousy over His people (Exodus 20:5); calms us with His love; and rejoices over us with singing (Zephaniah 3:17).

 

God grieves when we make unwise choices, which bring us harm and cause us to reap negative consequences (Psalm 78:40; Genesis 6:6). He also personifies love in the person of Jesus Christ (1 John 4:8).

 

Our Creator gave us emotions, as well as a mind in order to make balanced choices with our life. The Holy Spirit-controlled temperament provides us with perfect stability of mind and emotions.

 

We do not have to live as pseudo-intellectuals nor do we need to indulge in negative emotions all the time. We can get in touch with our feelings and use our emotions to express our innermost thoughts.

 

Prayer:

Father God, You made us with an intricate human body that works together like finely tuned clockworks. You also gave us a soul that expresses itself through our body and emotions. Our eyes are the windows of our soul and often reveal what we are feeling and thinking. You call on us to maintain a healthy body, soul and spirit each day of our life (Proverbs 3:5-8).

 

Yet, we often ignore the needs of all three of these entities by not exercising, skipping meals and not hydrating; as well as making poor choices for our life, and ignoring or stuffing our emotions (Proverbs 14:30). Remind us that it is possible to feel negative emotions, to express them without sinning, and to find healing for them (Ephesians 4:26; Genesis 4:6-7). Teach us to find a balance between our soul and spirit. Please restore our soul when life attempts to crush us (Psalm 23:3).

 

Thought for the Day:

God made us as triune beings: body, soul and spirit; our soul consists of our feelings, choices and thoughts; and we can walk in God’s Spirit and stay in perfect balance with all three.

– 1 Thessalonians 5:23; Genesis 2:7; Galatians 5:16

 

 

 

Rejected, but Never Alone

Jesus knows how it feels to face rejection from those to whom He poured out His life. He identifies with us when we dedicate our entire life to our family, church family and friends; yet, they walk away from us.

 

These people do not always respond positively to our presence in their life. Even our closest family members may attempt to wound us with their words and actions to cause us to reject them.

 

That way they can perceive themselves as the martyr in the relationship.  If, however, we do not reject them, they eventually reject us and accuse us of abusing them.

 

They want a reason to reject us, so they claim that we are toxic in their life. They discard us and walk away from us. They may think of us from time to time. These memories may even be positive and draw their hearts toward us; but they resist the urge to mend broken fences.

 

Showering them with God’s unconditional Agape love at each door that God opens for us will ensure that they know deep down inside that we are always here for them, regardless of how they treat us.

 

We may move on with our life and walk through other doors that God provides for us, but we are always sensitive to their needs and respond in love rather than rejection when they happen to reach out to us.

 

This may restore our relationship with them and increase our ability to live Christ’s life in their presence, giving them yet further opportunities to surrender their life to our Savior and King.

 

However, they may never approach us again – viewing us as dead to them or estranged. During their life, they cut us out of the momentous times in which we could share.

 

They want nothing to do with us and our special moments. We are rejected, but God never leaves us alone (Hebrews 13:5). He provides His Saints as our family and focus; and His presence in us sustains us throughout our lifetime.

 

Prayer:

Father God, our relationship with You is our focus in this life and for all eternity. People, places and times here on earth are a vapor on a cold day. Here for a moment and then vanished. Even a mate, parent or child may reject us; but You never leave us alone (Hebrews 13:5). You are the same yesterday, today and forever (Hebrews 13:7).

 

Christ is our very life (Colossians 3:4). We need no one and nothing apart from You. You give us all things to enjoy in Your timing and way. If we do not have it, we do not need it, or You would supply it for us. We trust in Your wisdom and goodness.

 

Thought for the Day:

God holds the key to our relationships, and He decides whom to allow into our life for His reasons and purpose; we can know for certain that He does everything for our ultimate good. – Romans 8:28

 

A Good Marriage – Sandpaper Spouse

 

 

 

Whoever offers praise, glorifies God. We praise Him in our victories, our successes, and our blessings, as well as in our diseases, our worries, our fears and our setbacks (Job 13:15).

 

There are many times when things do not go our way. We feel frustration, remorse, defeat and hopelessness; yet, we rejoice in the God of our salvation, who is our strength (Habakkuk 3:17-19).

 

This connection with God acknowledges that He is in control of our life at all times. It humbles us and causes us to shift our focus from our self and our problems to Him, our Problem Solver.

 

The more we establish and maintain our unity with God, the fewer trials and negative experiences occur in our life. When they do come, as trials always have a way of infringing on the best of times, the trauma is short-lived because of our positive attitude.

 

We see the daily blessings in the negative situation, and we see the hand of God working in the details to bring us encouragement and support as we suffer loss and ill health.

 

Job knew the power of prayer. He lost more in one day than most people lose in a lifetime. He suffered anguishing emotional, mental, financial and physical loss all at the same time. Yet, he chose to praise the Lord.

 

Sitting in the pile of ashes, scraping his boils with broken pieces of pottery, his trust in God never faltered. He endured endless days of torment and suffering with His hope planted firmly in the Lord.

 

Prayer:

Father God, the length of Job’s suffering discouraged him and caused him to question You, and to wish to die and end his misery; but You sustained him through those harsh and unwarranted issues and blessed him with more than he lost. We thank You that regardless of the circumstances we experience You are always in the midst of them with us.

 

It is encouraging to see that Satan has no power over us. There are only two ways that he can inflict us: if we open the door to him by our attitude and behavior, or if You give him permission. We know that if we walk uprightly before You, anything we suffer will result in more blessings in the end. Therefore, we praise You, even if You decide to slay us (Job 13:15; Daniel 3:8-18).

 

Thought for the Day:

When we experience the challenges of life, we learn to trust in the Lord with our whole spirit and soul, and to walk in His will rather than in our own goals and plans (Proverbs 3:5-8), as we live each moment by faith in His faithfulness, and guided by His Holy Spirit.

 

 

 

My Hiding Place

 

Most people have a Happy Place. That one place on earth that makes them feel free, happy and safe. A place in nature, the mall, at home, a favorite restaurant, the back pew at the church facilities, etc.

 

Destruction can come to these natural places, however. They are illusive at best. Contrarily, if we find our Happy Place in the presence of God, it will never be destroyed. It goes with us wherever we go and no one can take it away from us.

 

Our Hiding Place in God preserves us from trouble. God comforts us with songs of deliverance in our spirit (Psalm 32:7). He keeps us safe as our shield, as we hope in His Word (Psalm 119:114).

 

His presence is a shelter and shade from the struggles and stresses which parch us, and a refuge from the storms of life (Isaiah 4:6). God shelters us from the tempests and gives us the refreshment of the waterfalls of His love and contentment during dry spells (Isaiah 32:2).

 

When disasters destroy our habitat and water floods our natural hiding place, He offers us the plumb line of righteousness and the measuring stick of His justice to help us to rebuild on the foundation of Christ in our life (Isaiah 28:17).

 

We hope in the promises of His Word and wait on His instructions when darkness surrounds us on every side (Psalm 18:11, 119:114). His presence provides us with a constant secluded place to keep us safe (1 Samuel 19:2).

 

Prayer:

Father God, remind us that Satan will hide as a lion in his lair in order to catch the afflicted, many of whom he wounded from his constant assaults on their life (Psalm 10:9). He lies to us and we believe his corruption. Yet, You provide us with a hiding place from the destroyer (Isaiah 16:4).

 

At times, You will even use people to present us with a hiding place from life’s discouragements and insecurity (Deuteronomy 32:38). Yet, more often than not, if we look to the natural world, we trust in a lie for our safety and wellbeing (Isaiah 28:15). Keep us ever mindful of Your love, surround us with Your angels, and shower us with your blessings in the midst of this dry and desert land.

 

Thought for the Day:

If we hide the light of Christ within us, we fail to shine His saving grace to the world around us; so let us represent a city on a hill with a promise of a true and secure Hiding Place, as we offer solace to those God brings into our life (Luke 11:33).