In a good marriage, we stop majoring on the minor details of our individuality, and we encourage each other’s strengths, uniqueness and differences. It does not really matter how we squeeze the toothpaste, hammer a nail, hang the toilet paper, stack the dishwasher, fold the clothes, set the table, etc.
In major decisions, we always need to discuss our options together, pray together for God’s will for us in the situation, search the Bible for Godly wisdom, and make mutually satisfying choices. This always avoids conflicts, hurt feelings, fears and insecurities.
We take into account our individual preference, viewpoints and opinions and make choices together that bring fulfillment to both of us. This habit takes away the need for “control,” because it diminishes our individual concerns, anxiety, uncertainty, dread, unhappiness, etc. as it provides security, unity and cooperation.
A quick, humble and sincere apology for hurts we cause and inappropriate language, attitudes or behavior that we may have used is very healing in a marriage. Even if we do not think that we did anything wrong, we can always show empathy for our spouse’s feelings by expressing our sorrow for inadvertently hurting their feelings, letting them down, failing to be supportive, etc.
Rather than holding a grudge, or putting emotional and physical distance between us, screaming, or giving him/her the cold shoulder, we ask God for the ability to show unconditional love, concern and compassion for each other.
When hurt and disappointment mount up in our relationship, they drive a wedge between us, limit our ability to love and to feel loved, and need healing to restore unity and to increase intimacy. God is able to help us to find a mutually satisfying alternative, He abides within us, and He never, ever leaves or abandons us.
Father God, allow us to live as a magnifying glass through which others can see You magnified. Remind us that You abide within us; and we can step aside and allow You to love others through us, even when they wound or frustrate us. This way the devil does not get a foothold in the door of our relationship and magnify our differences, or cause us to complain about or advertise our mate’s faults to others.
Remind us that part of Your purpose in our life is to make us more like Jesus – to have His mind, character and nature, which replace our faults and weaknesses. Help us to be a reflection of You in our marriage and to the world around us. Teach us to be quick to forgive and to act in loving and kind ways, rather than in a vindictive, resentful and angry manner. When this is impossible to do in our own strength, remind us to come to You on our knees to receive Your Spirit’s wisdom, guidance and power to be Your vessel of love.
Thought for the Day:
When we choose to obey God in life and in our marriage, our whole outlook, attitude, emotions, and viewpoint will change toward our spouse and our world; this will allow us to serve as a vessel of honor for the Lord, and to reap God’s blessings in every area of our life.