A Good Marriage – Getting Out of the Rut

Breaking the mold by which we live is a great way to keep our marriage fresh and interesting. Getting into a rut will make our relationship seem stale and boring. Our heart will wander, and we can fall into Satan’s trap that he inevitably sets for us.

Instead, if we continue to date one another, rather than getting lazy and spending more time with our own friends and interests than with each other, our unity will grow. We feel more loved and cherished when we spend this mutual time together.

Taking turns to plan romantic evenings, even getting the babysitter, and making reservations or buying tickets, will show our spouse that we care about their interests as well as our own. Even if we simply get a milk shake or coffee together and chat and laughing together for hours, our unity grows.

Children require a great deal of attention and care. Working together as a couple to help our children, also helps our relationship. Rather than trying to compete with our children for our spouse’s time and energy, we actually expedite childcare by doing it together.

This way we have more time, energy and attention for one another and neither one of us gets ignored or snapped at by a tired, grouching mate. We also have the energy to care about how we look, dress and smell, which improves our intimacy.

Getting “in the mood” takes timing and effort. If we approach our spouse when they are in the middle of some chore or endeavor, it is hard for them to switch gears and to make us the focus of their attention. Men are often ready to engage physically in no time; however, women need slow, deliberate attention prior to their fulfillment.

As we forgive one another frequently, this keeps resentment from growing between us. Taking time to snuggle every day will also insure that our lines of communication stay open. When we focus on what we love about each other, emotional intimacy is a wonderful prelude to physical intimacy.


Father God, it is often hard to adjust to relationships. We are merrily single, and suddenly we are no longer free to be, do and say what we want to. Yet, living alone can cause our soul to die from loneliness a little bit each day, unless we use our time wisely, and minister to those that You bring into our life.

We want to abide in Your shadow, dream Your dreams for us, and walk in Your Spirit. Remind us to spend alone time with You as we seek to continue spending alone time with our spouse. This focused attention is vitally important for the whole family, and makes us feel like we matter as much as the children, ministry opportunities, friends, vocation, etc.

Thought for the Day:

Our mate is our closest ally and can be our best friend if we invest the time in our relationship; love is accepting one another’s faults and successes, and growing together by communicating, being vulnerable rather than prideful, listening to each other, and spending time together.

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