When we view life only from our own perspective, we find it hard to understand our spouse’s viewpoint. Something that they are very passionate about, or that is extremely important to the health of their soul should be as important to us as it is to them.
Yet, we often overlook the issue, dismiss it as irrelevant, have little concern over the outcome of the matter, make fun of it, and/or ignore their mentions of it in their conversations with us. A hug and a heart-felt, “I am so sorry that you are experiencing this” goes a long way in affirming our spouse’s worth.
This lets our mate know that they, as well as the state of their thoughts, emotions and concerns are important to us as well. We all need to feel needed and desired. Men also need to feel admired, adored, respected and appreciated. Women need to feel loved, cherished, enjoyed and special.
This affirmation takes very little time and effort. Just a few heart-felt words in an email, card, text, or spoken while we snuggle on the loveseat together. We all love it when we hear words of affection and confirmation floating toward us from across the room or from the next room.
Out of nowhere, and for no particular reason, we hear the words, “I sure do love you.” or “Thank you for marrying me.” Or “You make me feel so … happy (safe, secure, loved, wanted, cherished, etc.).” or “I admire you for … taking that stand (having those feelings, using your talents for the Lord, providing for our family’s need, etc.)
“You sure are handsome/beautiful, and I am so glad that you married me” is better than any expensive gift, elaborate meal at a pricey restaurant, etc. Nothing can ever replace the love that accompanies words full of affection and kindness.
Let’s not get so distracted by our responsibilities at work, with our children, or in our ministries, that we neglect our spouse’s welfare. Keeping our marriage as a priority in our life – second only to our quiet time with the Lord in prayer, devotion and praise – will plant seeds of contentment into our future.
Father God, warn us not to marry someone simply because we are attracted to them physically, or because they “look good on paper,” or they have the proper pedigree, college degree, and upbringing. We want to hear Your Spirit directing us in our choice. Teach us that enjoying each other’s company, laughing together, sincerely caring about one another as best friends, spending undistracted time together, etc. will ensure a lasting love relationship throughout our marriage.
Then, as the years progress, help us to remember why we fell in love in the first place. Do not allow us to get so busy that we take time with each other right off our to-do list. Warn us when we start to take each other for granted, so that we can change our attitude to one of gratitude, admiration, compassion and cherishing. We depend on You to keep our flames of love for one another burning in our hearts.
Thought for the Day:
Neglecting our self or our mate is as detrimental as attempting to walk through a mine field with our eyes blindfolded; something is bound to unexpectedly blow up in our face, and cause us real damage that will negatively impact us for the rest of our life.