Healing Lingering Grief

cloudy sky over mountain

When we lose a parent, mate, friend or child – either mentally, emotionally or physically; through estrangement, death or divorce – we are filled with several layers of grief, some of which is never mentioned publically or given the attention it needs so that we can recover from this residual grief.


I am referring to the consequential losses caused by our principal loss. For instance, besides the physical loss of this loved one, we may also lose our best friend, financial security, emotional support, the fulfillment of our future plans, our home and/or earthly treasures, and maybe even our feelings of safety, self-confidence, personal identity, and faith and trust in God.


We often experience regret over time lost with this person, words left unspoken, hasty heedless words we did not really mean when we said them, etc. We feel unprepared to move into this new chapter of our life without them, because of this compounded loss.


We are forced to change, and to start a new path on which we are unprepared to embark. Many people bury their grief in their subconscious mind in hopes of ridding themselves of the pain and distraction caused by these untimely and often ill-fated occurrences in our life. They are still there, however, haunting us from within.


Some of us experience grief over the loss of our innocence due to sexual abuse, fear because we experienced deprivation of our needs being met, feelings of not being ”good enough” due to neglect that was either intentional or a by-product of our circumstances.


God’s original plan for humanity did not include death. Paradise was and still is His intention for us. It was due to their pride and rebellion that Adam and Eve lost this place of Utopia, and brought the curse of sin on the whole creation, as well as to everyone on the earth from that time forward.


Jesus paid the price to restore creation and all who are humble and brave enough to receive His sacrifice as their own (John 3:16-18). He is our ever-present Savior, Brother, Counselor, Provider and Friend, as we trust Him to lead us in the way that we should go.



Father God, Your Word shows us that the key principle for surviving grief is to recognize that we are never alone when we experience it. Our friends may lose interest, but Your Trinity eternally abides within us (John 14:15-20; Hebrews 13:5). This terrible time in our life is absolutely within Your sphere of control; and as we trust in You alone, the outcome is guaranteed to turn out for our ultimate good (Romans 8:28). Teach us to trust that You are our loving Father and that You hear us in our distress (Psalm 13,22,42,73, and 34:15).


Remind us that Jesus is well-acquainted with what we are experiencing, because He too had sorrow in His existence on this earth (Isaiah 53:3; Hebrews 5:7-9). He is our soon and coming King, and He will defeat death, sorrow, and suffering once and for all of us (Revelation 21:1-4). Help us to change our focus from negative feelings and attitudes to positive ones, and to support others who are grieving too (Philippians 4:8; 2 Corinthians 1:3-4). We thank You for Your love, care and provision for us all the days of our life.


Thought for the Day:

When we experience any type of loss, we can write in our journal to document each secondary issue that we feel that we lost in addition to our primary bereavement; then we can grieve each area until we feel our self-care and nurture coming from within us, as well as the compassion and hope given to us by Almighty God.

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