As humans we connect in several ways: physical, mental, spiritual and emotional. We bond with different people in different areas. Some people are not Born Again, and we are not able to relate with them spiritually.
Others are not able to attach emotionally, and our unity is limited. We are deprived by them of the emotional intimacy that we crave. They may put barriers between us emotionally, because they are easily wounded, and our assertiveness violates their boundaries.
We can spend hours with them and still feel empty. There is no emotional significance between us. They do not respond to us, sense who we are or what we need, or connect to our perspective. We are not in tune with one another.
We have no deep connection that nurtures love and relationship. We never feel like we are completely seen, heard or understood by them. This disconnect may affect us mentally and physically as well, because we lack a relationship at the deepest level of who we are.
Harmony and significance are important in our ability to bond with someone; otherwise, we drop between the cracks and feel unloved. We may attempt to improve that connection, but it is never genuine or fulfilling. We doubt our self, so we strive to change our self to be more lovable.
The real issue here is to realize that we are a person too. We can continue to have a superficial relationship with this person, if that is what they prefer. We cannot change them or influence them in any way that helps them to meet our needs.
They may try for a while, but then revert back to their true self. Neither do we neglect our true self in the process, but we do not put undue expectations or pressure on the one that erects walls between us; that is their way of coping with life.
We continue to love that person, and we meet them where they are, on their own terms. However, we can also form other friendships that are more fulfilling for us, and we ultimately look to God for that deep intimacy that we crave and need in order to be fulfilled.
Father God, we can relate to the fact that people are wounded by the events in their childhood and early adulthood, and they are only able to love us in their own way. We hope that these wounded people will eventually find healing for their soul and love us completely; however, this may never happen. Help us to be satisfied with that relationship by meeting them on their own level.
Yet, also help us to find fulfilling relationships with people that are more willing and able to be vulnerable and to choose to love us with our own love language. Teach us that You are the true lover of our soul, and we come to You each moment of the day for Your peace, joy, love and guidance. Teach us how to draw our real fulfillment from our relationship with You.
Thought for the Day:
We live in harmony with others, accepting them as they are for who they are; but we do not deprive our self of what we need, because we are a person too; and by developing our intimate union with Christ in us, we allow His love to fill our heart and to flow through us to the world around us.