Satan is consistently involved in our dialogue with our self and with each other. We notice a person’s behavior, or a tone in their voice, or their body language, and we often assume the worst.
We fail to ask them about it, afraid of a confrontation; so we stew for hours. We assume that they are indifferent, unsympathetic mean-spirited or unloving. We think that they should instinctively know what we need without us asking.
Maybe their good intentions backfired, and they unknowingly hurt our feelings. Are they distracted, do they have a burden consuming their thoughts, are they busy and do we need to wait for a better time to talk to them? Do they think we are just making a comment instead of asking for help?
Many times the other person just does not understand, or cannot relate to what we are saying. They do not know how to empathize or what to do to help us. They feel useless, and they need us to be honestly candid about exactly what we need, rather than hinting or assuming.
When we make assumptions, we put boundaries around our heart and theirs. We feel unfavorably toward them, and we struggle with damaging negative emotions, often needlessly. It is much better to kindly ask for clarification of what they are thinking or feeling.
Direct and honest communication, done without accusations, hints and innuendoes, is the best method to express our needs. We should also consider whether the person is actually listening to us, or if they are zoned out, or if misconstrued what we said or asked.
Getting their attention before we speak, making eye contact, clarifying what they heard us say, and helping them to understand what we need will go a long way in solving these problems.
Father God, I used to think that You played a cruel trick on humanity by allowing opposites to attract. The conflict in communication is grievous to me, and I often feel frustrated, unloved and misunderstood. You created men, women, and different personality types to think so differently, and have such contrasting needs, that it is hard for us to get along.
Over the years, You taught me that opposites attract for a reason. You want us to share our strengths in order to improve both our lives and to help each other rather than for us to compete with one another. You made us different so that we could bless one another in ways that we could never accomplish on our own. Thank You for Your wisdom and love for us. We can never thank You enough.
Thought for the Day:
Giving people the benefit of the doubt will minimize the negative reactions that we have with them, improve our communication, and foster positive feelings and relationships; however, when we do doubt their meaning or intentions, we can kindly ask them to clarify their words or actions, and have patience with, and compassion on their reasoning.