Our focus in our marriage is one of the key ingredients for a fulfilled union. The devil makes sure that we focus on the negative attributes of our mate, and that we entertain those thoughts in our mind.
We criticize one another for our habits that annoy us. We forget to show our appreciation to each other, especially for those tiny things that we rarely notice anymore. This causes us to disparage one another and to feel unhappy and dissatisfied rather than content and joyful.
The enemy of a fulfilled union is unfulfilled expectations. We all have them – that is only human. However, if we mainly focus on our disappointments, and express them or concentrate on them exclusively, we will destroy the good will in our relationship.
Instead of concentrating on the negative, we can accentuate the positive. We start by making a list of a dozen aspects of our mate’s personality, character and actions, for which we are truly grateful.
Include on the list, the little things that we often take for granted. Write down the character and personality traits that we admire about them. Then, mention these in conversations, send emails or leave notes at random times expressing our admiration of these positive qualities.
Offering to help our spouse is another key ingredient to a fulfilled marriage. We may increase our work load, but it will lighten theirs. We are also able to spend more time together doing what needs to get done.
Baking a favorite pie, watching a TV show that our mate enjoys, emptying the trash without being asked, ironing those tiresome shirts, helping to cook dinner or wash dishes or laundry will go a long way in promoting love between us.
Father God, remind us that Satan is always available to point out to us our mate’s faults, and to discourage us from showing love, mercy and compassion to him/her on a regular basis. Help us to see the good qualities he/she has and to compliment him/her often in order to encourage him/her and to promote our unity.
Give us eyes to see and ears to hear the good that our mate does, rather than to focus on the negative issues that glare at us every day. Help us to express our appreciation of these positive qualities and behavior, and to build one another up rather than to tear each other down, which drives a wedge between us.
Thought for the Day:
Open communication is so important in a marriage; how will our spouse know if we do not kindly tell him/her that what they did hurt our feelings, or makes us feel unloved, or causes us an extra burden; in return, when they share with us, we can honestly reply by asking for forgiveness for what we have done to offend them.