Relationships shift as the years progress. Each individual person changes in mood, goals, preferences, desires, etc. When we change in incompatible ways, friction rises up in our connection.
Unless we discuss the changes, and how to work together in them, our bond weakens. Realizing that we are not in opposition or a competition, encourages us to help and cooperate with one another.
We start by making a list of the top few changes that we want to make in our life and in our relationship. Then we discuss how these changes will affect one another.
We choose to do things together that we may not particularly care to do. We can start a new hobby together, take classes and learn more about technology, writing, cooking, dancing, a new language, etc.
Our focus in this endeavor is to concentrate more on the time we are spending together, rather than in the event itself. We share in one another’s preferences and viewpoints, even if we do not agree with each other.
This will strengthen our bond with each other. Any differences that cannot be worked out can be accepted by agreeing to disagree. In this way, we give each other room for God to redirect both of us about our opinion concerning the issues.
Nursing current or past offenses and holding a grudge escalates the barrier between us. It is better to honestly, and humbly relate our true feelings to each other and to forgive one another.
We apologize, and decide how to adjust our behavior in order to resolve our issues, rather than stuffing them into our subconscious mind or allowing them to fester in our soul – our thoughts and emotions.
The way to foster a loving partnership is to prefer our mate and to adjust flexibly to meet each other’s needs. The best strategy is to willing alter our thinking or behavior a bit, in order to get along better with one another.
Father God, You created people so that opposites attract. You supplied us with this penchant so that we can strengthen each other’s weaknesses. As we broaden our experiences in life, we either learn to relax and breathe, or to take life more seriously.
Remind us that investing time in our current relationship is more productive and beneficial for us and our whole family than looking for a new mate. Help us to come up with a third alternative – a plan “C” – that makes us both happy and fulfilled. If all else fails, teach us to embrace and appreciate one another’s differences, to accept help with our weaknesses, and to love one another in spite of our idiosyncrasies.
Thought for the Day:
Focusing on blaming the other person and winning every disagreement are not beneficial goals in building a more intimate bond in our marriage; we construct positive emotions by focusing on agreeing to disagree, or finding a third solution acceptable to both of us, and accepting one another exactly as we are now.