A Good Marriage – Expectations and Reality

In every starry-eyed couple there are private perceptions, life-long dreams and goals, individual personal needs and expectations that we assume our fiancé shares.


We talk about particulars as we date, such as: cities and styles of home in which we want to live, number of children we desire and childcare options, hobbies, preferred foods and furniture décor, etc.


However, we avoid discussing some of the most important issues, simply because we assume that we share the same expectations. After the honeymoon these assumptions may cause huge issues in our relationship.


If we continue to avoid talking about them, then disappointment may turn to resentment and bitterness; anger may seethe below the surface of our emotions and erupt over lesser disagreements, causing our mate to wonder who they really married.


Living in peace with one another is the better option. Taking the time to mutually pray about and discuss our differences will allow us to find an alternate way of thinking and acting with which we can both agree.


This mutual respect will go a long way to resolve the matters and avoid future conflicts. Jesus loves us while we are still sinners and He abides within us; therefore, we can love one another even though we do not fulfill one another’s expectations.


Working through these issues during a time when we are not stressed and preoccupied, and when we can both focus on each other’s needs, will provide both of us with a sense of love and well-being, joy and respect, perseverance and maturity, and relational longevity.



Father God, we all have good intentions when we marry, but we soon fall into the trap of taking each other for granted, giving up on dating rituals that made us fall in love with each other, no longer really listening to each other and taking one another seriously when we share our personal needs and concerns, and forgetting to forgive each other for putting everyone and everything else as a greater priority over our relationship.


Please inspire us to focus on each other, second only to You. Help us to admit our faults to one another, to ask for forgiveness, and to make sure that we are actually hearing the intent behind our mate’s words without making new assumptions that will cause future hurts and bitterness. We want to honor You with every aspect of our life, including our marriage.


Thought for the Day:

These times of giving and receiving unify us more completely as a couple, soften our heart toward one another, cause us to draw closer to God, to open our ears so we can hear what we are truly saying to each other, and also to bind us together with a sense of unity and security.

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