Surviving a Second Marriage

Too often, a divorcee will run from one bad marriage to another. They do not allow themselves time to recover mentally, emotionally, physically, financially and spiritually from the initial abandonment before jumping into another wedding. This causes them to haul the heavy baggage of their unresolved conflicts into their next marriage.

The mental health experts all advise us to date many people for six months or more. This gives us an extensive idea of what type of person we can enjoy, get along with and live with on a daily basis. Some people worry about being alone for the rest of their life, and they marry the first person who is kind to them or who has the physical attributes that attract them.

This may cause us to marry the same type of person that just divorced us. Many divorcees ignore the red flags, which pop up with a person. The anger in their voice, the controlling attitude, the slight irritation or disappointment, the selfish decision, the broken promise, etc. are all red flags to alert us to the person’s real personality. They may mask their true identity for a while, but once they know they won our affections, they gradually let their guard down.

So, when we find someone who really interests us, we should casually date them as a potential mate for three months first; and then at least three more months of seeing the person every day with their family, friends and workmates. This gives us a better view of how they really act, because they cannot pretend in front of people who already know them.

Prayer:
Father God, the devastation of divorce causes us to doubt our self, fear the future and believe that we will be lonely and unhappy for the rest of our life. Teach us that You are our mate and that You will provide for all of our needs, even the intimacy, which we crave (Isaiah 54:5; John 17:21). You stick closer to us than a brother (Proverbs 18:24). You care about all of our needs; so remind us to cast our cares on You, rather than to seek a mate too quickly and to marry out of Your will for us (1 Peter 5:7).

Thought for the Day:
Many people spend half of their life looking for love, but when they put their trust in God, He brings their true love along in His timing and way.
More info at:
http://www.focusonthefamily.com/faith/christian_singles/being_single_and_faithful/reentering_the_dating_scene_after_divorce.aspx

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